Monday, April 27, 2015

Save your face!

I've never been graceful, I'm pretty sure my brother hogged all those genes along with the dimples.  So a week ago I found myself tripping over my own two feet and falling face first down our back porch stairs.  I was getting ready to head into the office and had that moment where I thought "Oh no! Do I land on my laptop or my face?  Wait, I haven't backed up this week!"   I chose face, which was the wrong choice in retrospect.  I hurt my shoulder and my shattered my phone.

My priorities got a little screwed up and I put saving objects before saving myself.  Can you see why I need "The Year of You, The year of Me"? I actually made an appointment to get a new phone before I made an appointment to get my shoulder checked out.  I actually looked at my dangling arm and said, "That's not so bad.  Holy crap, what am I going to do about my phone!"
When I finally relented that I was hurt I headed into see a doctor only to find that I had dislocated my shoulder.   They couldn't even get me to move my arm into position for an x-ray, the pain was that bad.  They gave me a shot for the pain and most of the rest of the visit is a blur.  I do remember them telling me that to put the shoulder back, the pain would be just like when I was in labor with my kids.  Then I panicked and said, "Wait stop!   I don't do that!  Stop!  I don't do labor!  I adopted!"

Everything happened really fast, another shot and there are people that are holding me tight and in position as the doc slides my arm back into place.   I let out a scream that can only be described as primal and the pain was blinding.  Everything went white for a second.

As soon as I caught my breath I started telling the nurses, "You guys are fools, complete fools for having children.  That was STUPID painful and if you said this pain was like labor, I don't really understand why you would do that to yourself.  Oh my goodness, don't ever get pregnant.  I mean it, that was crazy painful."

I remember saying those things and having the thought, "Wendy, please stop talking.  Really, stop talking.  It's time to be quiet."  I'm pretty mortified that I said that and texted every pregnant friend I know. "You might want to think twice about Labor.  It's crazy painful and I'm pretty sure it's a bad idea."

Obviously, the lesson we learned here is 1.  Do not use your face or body to break a fall.  2.  I get very, very opinionated and chatty on pain medication.

Wednesday, April 01, 2015

April Fool's Day - Congrats! You are going to Chore Camp!

It's April Fool's Day!  This year I'm super excited for my kids to get home and see that they got mail.  Good news!  They've been accepted to Chore Camp!  They will get to polish up on their housekeeping skills and even visit other camps to clean while the other campers are out swimming or canoeing.     My favorite part of this is the quote on the brochure from Teddy, Age 10.  "My favorite part of camp was when we got to clean up the mess that the kids in the other camp made while making s'mores."  

You're kids can also get acceptance letters today too!  You can get the brochure here.  I printed mine on Cardstock to really make it seem legit.

 
This looks like it was a Disney.com prank back in the day, but everything linking back to it was broken and I couldn't find it on the Disney site anywhere.  So I found a pic of an acceptance letter and created my own.   You can get the acceptance letter here to customize.  Chore Camp Doc here. 

In other news, I can't wait for Mr. Man to open his Basketball bag and realize he only has a pair of AK's frilly socks to wear for his Basketball Game tonight. 
And AK had a little trouble with her cereal this morning as it was frozen into one solid lump!
Happy April Fool's Day to you and yours!