A little "Vacation"

I needed to get away... really really needed it... so I packed up the kids and went "home" to Santa Barbara. This is the place where I grew up. I can't explain my love for that city, but it is a place that I love passionately. I feel very much at home there, and it invigorates me to be there. I'm reminded of lyrics from a favorite local band that I loved during high school that says, "Show me your home, not the place where you live, but the place where you belong". That is what Santa Barbara is for me. We had a great time, and my only regret was that I didn't stay longer. I'm thinking we need to go back in a few weeks and rent a little cottage.

We hit the zoo, which is amazing. We fed these lucky giraffes who are fortunate enough to have an ocean view from their pen. You are only supposed to feed the Giraffes a single bar of food, however, my kids just kept reaching into the bucket and fed them handfuls... oops. We didn't get the instructions until it was too late. Also a moment of silence for the beloved crooked neck giraffe, Gemina.Mr. Boy was cracking me up that this was the spot he chose to have his lunch. We rode the train which is a bargain compared to our zoo. And Nana joined us. They have the best play area, with a hill that is meant for sliding and rolling down. We had lunch at Palazzio's my absolute favorite resturant on the planet. I dream about this pasta at night. We did some shoe shopping and wandered around a bit. The kids indulged in some ice cream. Mr. Boy found this wallet and just insisted that we needed to buy it for his birthday. He's got good taste, it was indeed very pretty, and very pricey. Also, note the necklace and bracelet he sported the entire trip! These steps were the subject of some photography I did in High School. It's also one of my favorite photo spots. Next time I'll plan a little photo shoot there with the kids. AK had a blast pushing Mr. Boy around for a bit. She thought it was fun to pretend to be grown up. Sunset at my favorite beach of all time. If I ever win the lottery, I'm moving within walking distance of this beach. (I'd have to win the powerball in order to afford a place on the water)There have been many walks on this beach in my lifetime with special people in my life or times where I have come to this beach looking for answers. And their have been many times where I have come to play and just enjoy life, just like the kids are doing now. This dog was a sweet rambunctious guy named Opus. He LOVED the kids. He wanted nothing more than to wrestle and play with the kids. I love the perfect pawprints in the sand. Speaking of dogs, Sandy (aka the hairless wonder) and Skoopi got to hang with Grandpa, my dad. (picture courtesy of Mr. Boy)My dad is totally hooked on wearing these Union Suits. It's all about one-piece living for him. Also, my Dad was obviously visited by AK while napping. Another highlight was that I got to slip away and have lunch with an old friend. It was exactly what I needed.
We were not a road-tripping kind of family growing up. However, I will say, I'm loving my tricked out SUV for a trip like this. Dogs are contained and gated, kids are entertained when they get grouchy thanks to hypnotizing power of Disney movies.
Also, this cracked me up, because it just seems like overkill. I couldn't fit the Nav in the pic. This is roadtripping-21st Century style.

Moved to the Projects... without packing a single box

Mr. Man & I learned this weekend that our home was now owned by the government as Indymac was taken over by the Feds...
We loved Indymac, refinanced several times with them and were preapproved for our new loan with them.. worst of all.. we referred a bunch of friends and family to Indymac. Oops... our deepest apologies.

Also.. Psst.. .On Vacation.. will post photos next!

Not one of my better ideas...

I visited a client this morning and their beautiful labrador Penny was sporting a short sleek coat. They had her shaved once the groomer assured them that it is okay to shave a labrador. I also admired the fur free corners of their home and decided Sandy who has the same fur type would benefit from a good shave. (Not all labradors have the same type of fur!) Because I'm a cheapskate and was unwilling to shell out the $100 to have her shaved, I tried myself with my handy clippers. I don't think I'd do it again, it looks awful! This is officially my worst idea to date! The upside I have not stopped laughing in the past hour as I look at her streaky buzzed fur. Mr. Man is going to fall over when he sees this.

I was just getting started when Mr. Man left for a doc appointment. I still can not believe he asked me, "What are you doing?" and my response was "Shaving Sandy" and then Mr. Man kept on walking. He didn't even bat an eye. I'm an accountant not a dog groomer... which from the pictures above is painfully obvious. I have a feeling Sandy is going to milk this for all the treats and snacks she can possibly get.

And now you are five...

Dear Mr. Boy,

The last week of school they had a birthday party for the summer birthdays, at this time you came to the realization that your birthday was approaching. We started the countdown at 31 days, and in true Mr. Boy style that would not suffice. You said you wanted it to be sooner, so I told you, "fine, 30 days" and we worked in an extra day somehow. You have grown exponentially this year, not so much in size and stature, but in personality and intelligence. You have asked the question "Why?" at least 3 million times this year, and that is not an exaggeration. I logged how many questions you asked me in one day in April, and the total came to a whopping 412. "Why are frog legs lean and not fat?" is just an example of the questions posed on that day. That is another thing, currently you are obsessed with the concept of fat vs. lean. It has lead to some mortifying hushed conversations about good manners in public places. This year you discovered Superheros and have decided that you were born with secret powers waiting to be discovered. You often ponder what your superpower might be and were delighted to discover that my superpower is that I can see everything you do, even around corners or with my back turned.

We crack up daily at the comments you make. You are wicked funny and there is nothing we love to hear more than you giggle. We love playing with you, because you have a great imagination. You have fun wherever you are, and we hope you never lose that trait. Your joy is contagious! You are also constantly thinking and pondering the concepts of the world. We have learned a lot by constantly looking up answers to your deep questions. We are excited for you to attend Kindergarten to feed that inquisitive mind.

You started attending a sports class this year, which has been a broad introduction to sports. According to the coach, "You kick the snot out of a soccer ball..." which is a nod to the biological abilities you were blessed with, that your father and I could not provide.
A few days ago, AK got hurt. You ran up to me and shouted, "Do something, I can't stand it!" I simply was not fixing her fast enough. There is a deeply compassionate side to you, that wants to help people feel good. You talked to AK in the car telling her all the things that would help her. "How about a Tigger Ice Pack?" "We can watch Mary Poppins after you get a band aid..." What you don't know, my sweet boy, is that this helped me stay calm as I nervously assessed the situation. We make a good team.

On the anniversary of your birth, your father and I can't help but think back to the day of your birth and the courageous woman who chose us to be your parents. You are so loved, not just by us, but there is a whole biological set of family members who are cheering for you to do great things in your life. You are so lucky to have this giant support team, I hope you never forget that. Also, we pause to give thanks for your birthmom who we love and are grateful for in such an indescribable way.

You had the best preschool teacher this year, who loved your ringleader personality and encouraged you to try harder. You are turning into a little miniature version of your mom. Stubborn (although Daddy is too), strong willed, high strung, and you like to be in control. If you do not get your way, you will push, negotiate, or come up with a compromise until you get your way. This is very hard as a parent, however it is a trait we don't want to squash. Much of this year has been trying to figure out how to gently guide and rein you in, without breaking your spirit. Your dad and I have spent many hours coming up with gameplans to try and figure out the best way to do that. You are a BIG BIG spirit in a small body, and we love that about you.

You will go far in life as long as you remember to play nice and keep your hands to yourself.

May your fifth year be your best year yet and live up to the your high expectations.

We love you!

Mom & Dad

The Fourth of July

The week started out fabulous... Mr. Man took a good portion of the week off.... we BBQ'd, played Rock Band, played outside, played Rock Band, Swam, played Rock Band, had water fights, and stayed up way to late playing Rock Band. Did I mention that we played Rock Band?

So here we are on the morning of the Fourth of July. We were on our way to the pancake breakfast. All is well, except for the matching bandaids covering a skinned knee on each child. No big deal, a band aid makes it all better. Mr. Boy got a new fancy watergun for the water fight that takes place every year after breakfast. We hung out and swam at a friends house, and at some point Mr. Boy was complaining his eye hurt. By that evening his cheek was swollen and very red. The next morning he woke up with that nice large red mark. It's really odd, and we are currently taking bets on what happened? Oh, and the elbow happened on Sunday night while on a walk around the neighborhood. He slipped while splashing in the gutter and scraped his elbow and bruised a few ribs. I meanwhile had a heart attack as I watched my beloved first born splash and then fall face first into the hazardous waste filled gutter. I took him home and scrubbed down in our portable HazMat station. That has just been the BEST investment for our family! On Saturday evening I took the kids to the park (mainly because I wanted to finish reading my book!) and the kids played. I looked up to see the kids happily playing and to watch AK fall HARD right into the playground equipment. I did not faint, which is a small miracle considering the amount of blood. She did quite a number on her lip and believe it or not, that is her smiling for the camera. Poor girl!! She's on a soft foods diet as she knocked a few teeth loose and a steady stream of Otter Pops to reduce the swelling. Considering she only eats applesauce, yogurt, popsicles, and bananas, this new diet doesn't seem to be different than any other day.
Our goal for the week... stay out of the ER. It's a lofty one, but I picked up a few of these handy bubbles for the kids on eBay, so that should help.

Torturing my children...

For someone who is the WORST mom ever, let me show you some torture I've subjected the children to in the last two weeks. Starting with AK.... Then there is Mr. Boy...

I let him put his arms in the fountain and splash... no surprise he reached too far and fell in. I just laughed heartily, causing a few people to stare. Life is to short to be scolded over getting wet....

We've had many days where I have subjected them to so much torture they fell asleep on the way home.

Yep, definitely worst mom ever.

First Day of Summer Cap

Normally, I feel like I'm herding cats trying to get out the door. Some people have blissful dreams of handsome men or fabulous vacations while they sleep, I have blissful dreams that we walk out of a tidy house without a last minute mess being made, 3000 carseat straps to buckle, and I carry nothing more than a dainty handbag.

Today, is the first day of summer day camp. I said, "Au Revoir, let's go!" I had hoped to get a picture before we left, but these guys were GONE! I mean GONE!! In the car, buckled, and they carried their own stuff. Let's just pause for a moment to give thanks for the miracle that took place. I left the house carrying JUST my briefcase. I didn't have to threaten anyone, clean up a mess, or drag a defiant child out to the car. These kids were crazy excited to go to day camp.
This girl was ridiculously excited, to the point where she it's obvious that she is just trying to appease me. When I said goodbye to her, she practically pushed me away. Every morning, when we drop Mr. Boy at school, AK would run into the Red Room and join their circle time. She would run in, sit down and try to blend in. She would hope that no one would notice and we'd accidentally leave her there. Thank goodness for summer camp now, she can go to school too!!

When I picked these guys up today, AK was so upset to see me. She went into full on "I'm still 2 and can throw a tantrum like NO ONE ELSE on the planet." She used her best tantrum tactics... first she applied
- The runaway and hide in the most awkward spot on the planet for mom to pull me out of.
- Then kick and scream and grab onto the door with a deathgrip with the strength of 10 elephants
-Last but not least after I pried her fingers off the door, she did my personal favorite.... the crocodile deathroll.

Bottom line: I feel zero guilt having them go to summer camp.

It's been declared... I'm the worst mom EVER!

Tonight's bedtime was less than smooth... see below.Boy: I want to color in my bed...

Moi: No sweetie, we don't color in our bed, I'll leave the crayons out for you in the morning...

Boy: *wailing... the tired "I've been staying up way too late... waking up early... and having really active busy fun filled days...swimming, playing at the beach, feeding ducks, going to Disneyland" wail

Moi: You'll feel better after some sleep, here's a book to read

Boy: You're the WORST MOM EVEEEEEER. You're mean, you're the WORST!!!

Moi: I'm sorry you feel that way

Boy: I was going to color you a beautiful rainbow dinosaur picture. It was going to be a blue Tyrannosaurus Rex, because blue is your favorite, with a Rainbow. Rainbows are hard to draw, but I was going to do it

Moi: Ooo that sounds pretty, you can draw it tomorrow.

Boy: *unintelligible words muffled by sobs*

Moi: Good Night

Boy: *screaming at the top of his lungs* YOU'RE THE WORST MOM EVEEEEEEEEEEER!

Secrets to a Happy Marriage

Five years ago, Mr. Man and I were at serious odds over something called "Replay", essentially a first generation Tivo. He was hogging it, and shows for both of us were randomly being deleted by the other person. It was a constant source of friction. One day, we had a brilliant idea to get His and Her Tivo's. BEST. THING. EVER. Our marriage quickly went from being constant bickering to bliss.

Flash forward a year, I'm sitting in church during Sunday School, the teacher says, "Who knows the secret to a happy marriage?" I turned to my neighbor and went... "Oh my gosh, I actually know the answer to this!" I raised my hand and was so excited to share my answer of "His and Her Tivo's". Although, it wasn't quite the answer the teacher was looking for, I SWEAR I saw a bunch of lightbulbs go off over people's heads.

Relating to this, there has been an annoyance in my life since the day I met and married Mr. Man. The guy has about 10,000 remotes cluttering up the family room. I gave him a fancy Universal Remote once that cost as much as 4 Tivo's and it was so complicated, only the folks at NASA know how to use it. Then the heavens opened up and dropped on our doorstep was this lovely Logitech Harmony Universal Remote. It is PURE GENIUS. It was sent to me by the folks at BzzzAgent. I was skeptical, because we have an insane amount of electronics, however it was so easy to use... that *I* set it up. It replaces 7 remotes! Brilliant!

Even better, it alleviates the scare of "what if a remote goes missing?" Such as the AppleTV remote that is the size of a pack of a gum, and went missing for 3 days and was found in the dungeon of Mr. Boys castle. Or the "what if the dog eats the remote?" which happened when Sandy was a puppy, and ate a remote that was on backorder and cost a small fortune to replace. We had to get off the couch for 8 months to change the channel until the replacement arrived. Hooray for fabulous Unversal Remotes! Hooray for marital bliss!

This is the kind of dad he is....

He is incredibly goofy and totally puts the kids first in every way in his life. Things have been tough, as we wrestle with some pretty big decisions and I simply do not give him enough credit for the kind of dad he is. For example, last week we went to California Adventure for the first time. He and I were going to meet up while I took the kids on a ride. I get a text message... "Come to the aladdin corner, NOW". We arrive at the Aladdin corner to find Mr. Man holding Cinderella hostage, because he knew this would be the highlight of AK's year. AK loves Cinderella more than anyone else on the planet. AK could not believe she was actually touching Cinderella's hand. She said, "You're Real?"
She said, "Yes, of course." and they hugged like they were lifelong friends.

Last Day of School!! Last Day of School!! Last Day of School!!

Mr. Man and I did a funky dance while screaming, "Last Day of School" in the kitchen this morning to Mr. Boy's mild amusement. Mostly he just rolled his eyes. He finally is on the mend, and the doc gave him the all clear to go to school today. He put together a special outfit. At first I was a little worried, because it appears he's going to be spending the day working in Aunt Jemima's kitchen instead of school. However, once I asked him about his look, I realized with pride that it was inspired by my first true love, Bret Michaels, "Rock of Love" Star and lead singer of the worlds awesomest hair band, Poison.

I had pictures of him in my wallet from the age of 13, and I imagined we'd have this crazy awesome house overlooking the city with a huge pool in the shape of a guitar together. Me + Bret = True Love. He'd strum his guitar while I unpacked the take-out and put it on plates that we had designed for us for our wedding. White bone China with a ring of Roses and thorns......*sigh* (notice how even at 13, I didn't have high expectations of my domesticity) So, where was I? Oh Mr. Boy! Ok.. so it wasn't really inspired by Bret Michaels, but is really from this day, where I said... "Hey, let's pretend we are like the Rock Stars on Guitar Hero, and clean the house!?" So we popped scarves on our head, blasted music and everyone cleaned. They loved it! So here is the look Mr. Boy wore to school for his last day... Notice it's not even 9 am, and the Irish kid is already pounding down a kiddie sized Heinekin.
Then he did this...

Then it's time for the customary last day of school pic in front of the sign.And I noticed that I failed to post the first day of school pic, because of that whole "In the hospital, having stupid surgery" experience. However, Mr. Man followed my instructions to take the pic. Notice the white cars, I wasn't even kidding...

Sick Day

There is "not feeling well" and then there is sick. With kids, there are runny noses or days where they are extra tired and cranky. Then there is SICK. Poor Mr. Boy is breaking my heart. This is one sick puppy... He's been lethargic, needing tons of extra snuggles, and is HOT. The kid has had an abnormally high fever for three days that Tylenol or Motrin won't help. Doc ran some tests this morning, but we were sent home with instructions... lots of lukewarm baths and cuddles, sip ginger ale, and watch lots of movies. Sounds good to me!

Enter Exhibit A

I often have a dream where I'm in court and on the witness stand being questioned about my lack of parenting skills by a vicious attorney. My grown children sit at the Plantiffs table... and the lawyer brings over pictures that I took and says, "Oh really? You never tried to sabotage your children's attempts to socially fit in... may I enter into Evidence Exhibit A" The coutroom gasps as the pictures are revealed and I wake up in a cold sweat.

This is one of those incriminating series of pictures. The preschool has a Bike-a-thon fundraiser every year. Last year, Mr. Boy didn't participate, and I have NOT heard the end of it. So this year, we buy a helmet and ask the neighbors for pledges, and away we go. I let Mr. Boy decorate his trike because I thought other people would too... they didn't. I also thought most 4 year olds ride trikes.... they don't. Even though I haven't seen Mr. Boy ride his trike in a year or so.. I thought it was still plenty big for him... it's not.Also.. there was only one other trike there. It belonged to the youngest child in school, half Mr. Boys age. I knew the moment I pulled into the parking lot watching the parents unload big kid bikes from the back of their White SUVs ... Uh oh.. Exhibit A here we come. (sidenote: 90% of the parents at the preschool drive white SUV's... I'm actually know as the mom who "drives the non white SUV". )

The whistle is blown and the kids take off and Mr. Boy's ginormous legs are pedaling as fast as he possibly can, hitting the handlebars every time. Kids are whizzing by... they have done 3 or 4 laps by the time he has completed one. By lap 3, Mr. Boy is sweating profusely and I'm nervously fumbling for his inhaler and wondering if the school has a spare oxygen tank handy.... He is working so hard, and I'm ridiculously proud of him. He is unphased by the other children whizzing by. Even better, all the parents know him and are cheering for him. (one of the perks of having a child who tends to be in the center of mischeif, the parents hear all about my child's mischevious acts commited each day by their fascinated, yet well behaved, children) The coach is on the megaphone cheering for him.... and all Mr. Boy sees is a hundred faces all cheering him on. He successfully completed eight laps, and was stoked to earn a medal and a green popsicle. On the way home, as he rubs his bruised knees, he says, "I think it's time for a big bike. I just keep forgetting how big I am."

Mr. Boy, please forgive your parents who are just doing this all for the first time... we have no idea what we are doing, and the 3000 parenting books we have didn't mention that by the age of 4 you should have a bike with training wheels to participate in preschool bike-a-thons.

Doubt..

It was the precise moment these pictures were taken, that my head became filled with doubt about our plans...
Do I really want to give this up? The ability to go to the beach for just 30 minutes... Would I be giving this up? Can we do that where our new house will be? Are we going to live close to the beach? Just how close... Will my kids still be able to learn to surf? Sail?What if we end up in the Valley? Will AK have a "Like totally Rad Omigosh" Accent? Is the timing right? Is it a good decision? Will the schools be okay? Are the kids going to have good friends? Will I make more friends? What is our life going to be like a year from now? Ugh.. now where is that crystal ball when you need it!