Something to celebrate

On the eve of AK's sixth birthday, her very first tooth wiggled it's way out.  She was beyond excited and wanted to write a letter to the tooth fairy, which included thought provoking questions such as, "Do you like Sharks? Did I lose my sweet tooth?" 

On her birthday we had friends over to swim, and that evening we went out to In-N-Out  and had cupcakes.  See that massive pile of gifts, I only bought one of those gifts.  Mr. Man totally spoils his girls and he came home with a plethora of gifts for AK.  

She made her wish and I'm pretty sure it was for a "pink horse with friendly brown eyes". 

 The following day it was a day of love as Mr. Man and I celebrated our wedding anniversary.  Mr. Man took me to a swanky dinner on the town, while Auntie Cinnamon babysat.  While we were gone, the kids got to work decorating the house.

 This is my favorite, with the kids and dogs. 

While we were at dinner, Mr. Man and I paused to remember that six years ago we brought this cute girl home from the hospital on our tenth anniversary.  She was the best anniversary gift ever.  We didn't want to leave her while we went out for dinner, so we brought her with us and just went out for Ice Cream later that night.  The store was just getting ready to close, and Mr. Man, pleaded, "Please it's our 10th Anniversary, and we just brought this baby home from the hospital."

   

They obliged and Mr. Man and I toasted ten years of marriage over a Hot Fudge Sundae. Originally, I had high expectations of a swanky dinner, possibly a vacation for our 10th anniversary.  However, sitting in a strip mall Baskin Robbins with a brand new baby in my arms with my husband seemed like no better way to celebrate the occasion. 

AK turns six!

Dearest AK, 

On the occasion of your sixth birthday, I sit down to write you a note to tell you how much I love you.  Six years ago today, you were placed in my arms and I knew you were the piece of my heart that had been missing.  You have a spunky personality and are such an amazing gift to our family. You have a zest for life that is contagious and you are such a genuinely happy girl. 

You have a flair for drama, and will make up the most amazing stories.  I have had many people tell me you need to go in show business, and they might be right.  This summer, we went to see a movie, and you later re enacted an entire scene verbatim for you dad. We have been instructed to help you "find your passion" and at this point it is hard to narrow it down. 

You are passionate about so many things, horses, singing, dancing, and you have the biggest imagination.  This past year you have told many sob stories to strangers, teachers, and friends that have resulted in many phone calls that start with, "AK was telling me all about.... "  People are amazed at your imaginative story telling, and have asked if I ever thought about having you write soap operas.

 

 Last year I was unsure whether or not I should send you to Kindergarten, my gut knew that you weren't ready, but you were so social, it seemed like we should give it a try.  Hooray! You get to do Kindergarten again this year!  AK listen to your gut, it always knows the right answer, however I do not regret sending you to Kindergarten when I did.  We learned a lot about you and it gave everyone time to figure out how we can best help you.  AK, there are struggles that lay ahead for you, but you need to listen to me very carefully.... You are going to be OKAY. 

 

AK, you have this resilient strong and fighting spirit that you have had since the day you were born.  You have an unbelievable will to survive and conquer.  You have a feisty spirit and I love it.  You do not back down when it is important, and will hold your ground.  Here is the best thing I love about you AK, something I struggle with... If it is not important to you, you will give in.  You let it go, which is a concept that I'm still struggling with as an adult.

 Kindergarten was challenging this year, especially the early start time.  You love your beauty sleep and did not like to be woken up.  Many mornings I dressed you while you slept and even popped you into the car while dozing.  You go to bed early,  so it's not like we just kept you up too late, you just really love your sleep.  It takes a lot of energy to be you, and so you needed that time to recharge.  There are some nights though, you just want to party all night.  We can't figure out what causes it, but there are some evenings you stay up in your room singing to yourself until midnight.  The neighbors have also noticed your late nights as they have heard the window open and a little voice saying, "Helloooooooooo."  You love to ask them where they were and if they had fun.  They always encourage you to go to bed, but you like to tell them, "I can't sleep, tell me a story." 

 

You will try anything once and are eager to do anything that puts you in the spotlight.  This past summer while in San Francisco, we drove slowly down the windy Lombard Street.  With the windows rolled down, I taught you the funniest thing ever invented.  You leaned out and in your sweet voice, said, "Pardon me" to all the tourists who were standing on the sidewalk snapping pictures, "Do you have any Grey Poupon?" You never batted an eye and we all laughed hysterically. 

 AK, I want you to know how much we love you.  You have taught me so much about life and I hope I can teach you some things in return.  We live in the most amazing place and the world is full of opportunities.  I hope your self confidence and spunky spirit never fades. I pray it will carry you through Junior High and High School, and you can emerge your teenage years filled with the self confidence to be a success in the world. 

I love you, 

Mom

Lessons learned from my father: Mortification

My dad. *sigh* I can’t even say the word dad these days without sighing.  It’s a reflux.  At some point, I need to write it all down, vent… share… laugh so that my future generations can be like, “SHUT UP, our great great grandfather made my great grandma drive his trash in the passenger seat of her car all the way home, because his trash day was still three days away.  That doesn’t make sense!  I know future posterity, I know. Save yourself a fortune in therapy and just don’t try to make sense of it all.

 My Dad went from grieving widow to single man on the prowl in about 60 seconds (or six weeks).  It threw me for a loop, a big one, I mean… a really, really big one.  Now, after some time, therapy, lots of tears and laughter, I get it.  I mean, I don’t like it, I don't approve, but I understand to a degree.  In his engineer brain, he is like, “Problem:  No spouse and excess loneliness.  Solution: Find new Spouse on Internet.  If you don’t at first succeed, try try again. “ 

And as for “Try Try Again” my Dad is trying really hard to get married, the problem is he is good looking, financially stable, and has all his hair.  In other words, the more mature crowd finds my dad to be a catch.  The craziest of the ladies seem to be the most aggressive and eager to get the golden ring.   It’s a roller coaster and every lady seems to have a need of some sort.  For example: A green card, money to pay off a mountain of debt, a place to live. 

Unfortunately, his marriage obsession has made our relationship a little bit rocky.  I didn’t expect he would be ready to get his dance card punched six weeks after my mom’s passing.  We are working on this, but essentially my dad keeps referring to my “mental state!”.  “I’m very concerned about your mental state!”  “What does Mr. Man think of your mental state!?”  “You are in a mental state! I have never heard you so upset.”

Whew.. all this is leading up to something, but wow, I just had to let that all out.  Now for the lesson I learned from my dad. 

 My dad was obsessed with Dr. Laura, and when her radio show went off the air, he was devastated.  Thanks to Oprah and daytime television, now my dad has found a new replacement for his devotion in the form of Dr. Oz.  Now Dr. Oz, is nice and all, but his ratings are in the tank, which means his topics are meant to sensationalize and draw in the mostly female TV audience.  Dr. Oz is always talking about Women’s health, couple that with my mental state! And it results in my dad obsessing about my health. 

The other day, my brother, dad, and I were sitting in an attorney’s office discussing my mother’s estate. This is not an attorney that knows our family beyond a few phone calls.  Mr. Attorney turned to type up some notes in his computer, and there is silence.

My dad turns to me and says, “Wendy, who is monitoring your health?  Is it your OB/GYN? Does he monitor your health monthly, annually? And is he aware of your mental state?  You aren’t taking any of those synthetic hormones, are you?  Dr. Oz says those will make you crazy.” 

At this point, I turned beet red and wonder if Dr. Oz ever did a show about people who actually died of embarrassment.  The attorney graciously ignores my dad’s outburst of concern for my health and carries on.  Since when has my dad been so concerned with woman’s health, especially my health?  It’s something we haven’t ever discussed.  This is the moment I learn you are never too old to be humiliated by your parents.

Dear Summer,

Dear Summer, 

You know that I adore you,already.  Is it possible that I fell even more madly in love with you this season?  

 

Please, my dear summer, please don't make me send these beach lovin' kids back to school just yet. We are having too much fun! 

Truly, Deeply, Madly... in Love with you, 

Moi

Slice of Life

Right after we moved in, we bought a salt lick and mounted it on a tree on the hillside thinking we would have a herd of deer addicted to our salt lick.  According to my worthless deer book, Salt Lick's are the equivalent of deer crack. Our deer, don't follow the deer norm, and the Salt Lick looked untouched.  A few weeks ago Mr. Boy and I were setting out some deer chow for our mommy deer.  Those poor mommy deer, they are dealing with bickering fawns all day long.  Not only that, they can't seem to keep on top of the housekeeping, and dread taking the fawns out to run errands. Those fawns turn into little devils when it's time to go to the grocery store.

  Ahem... maybe I'm projecting a bit.  Anyway, Mr. Boy and I were up by the Salt Lick tree, and I dared Mr. Boy to lick the "still looks new salt lick".  He double dog dared me, and next thing you know we are both licking the salt lick and falling over with laughter.  Last week I found this buck going to town on the deer lick, which immediately left a bad taste in my mouth.  I'm afraid I've ingested deer cooties, and if I sprout antlers, we will know why. Apparently, the salt lick wasn't going unused, they just last a really really long time.  

Mr. Boy turned 8, which means he started Cub Scouts. His first activity was the pinewood derby, where we learned that it is serious business.  Needless to say, Mr. Boy is hooked on scouts.  Last night, they had a "Pack Meeting" where boys were handed awards for activities they had passed off.  I guess they don't do merit badges at this age yet.  

Mr. Boy was enthralled with the pins and belt loops, and said, "I'm going to earn a ton of them, Mom."   When we got home, he proceeded out the back gate and up the hillside.  When I asked what he was doing he replied, "Leave me alone Mom,  I'm Cub Scouting.  This is for my hiking merit badge. Oh, and Mom, do we have a gun, I think I'll do my hunting badge too."

 

One of the things I love about the Chalet, is the freedom it provides my children.  The neighbors are all a close knit group and raised their children together. (All their kids are now grown and my age!)   The neighbors have welcomed us and love my kids. We often joke this neighborhood came with a cul de sac full of grandparents who spoil our kids.  It is not uncommon for us to have impromptu neighborhood gatherings and I love it. 

Yesterday at 2 o'clock, just as I was getting ready to leave to run errands,  the doorbell rings. It is our neighbor, dressed in a swimsuit who says, "I was told there was a swim party at 2pm?"  AK comes running out in her swimsuit and says, "HOORAY! You came!" She grabs his hand and says, "Mom, for our party we would like Root Beer and licorice."   So, we all put on swimsuits, drank soda, ate licorice and had a swim party, because what else do you do when people are expecting a pool party. 

Leave it to AK, to decide while roaming the front yard to spice up the day with an impromptu party.  Our neighbor arrived home to be greeted by AK, who announced that we were having a party at 2pm, and would he please come.  No one can resist AK and her kryptonite smile, so he blew off his afternoon to do list to join us. It was sweet, although a little awkward, when he realized the party was just for him.  One of the things AK has taught me, is that there are ways to make the day more fun.

I am not a baker, but my kids love me anyway.

 I can not bake, it's just not one of my talents, as evidenced by the picture below.  It was the day of Mr. Boy's 8th Birthday party and two hours prior to the guests arrival, this was "cake wreck" I was dealing with.  I made the cake myself, can you tell? 

Mr. Boy wanted a "Harry Potter" birthday complete with a broomstick cake.  We've spent the lazy summer twilight hours watching Cake Boss, Cupcake Wars, and Ace of Cakes.  I had the genius idea to make a broomstick out of a Twix bar and some melted Starburst. In my head it looked like one of those cakes you see on TV.  Once I actually executed my broomstick,  I started to panic. The cake was falling apart and I just added my "pièce de résistance" and it looked rather phallic, if you know what I mean. *wink*

 Mr. Man came in and tried to rescue it, but nothing could save it except for a trip to the bakery for a replacement. 

 We bought a replacement, but decided we should go ahead and put a Harry Potter Spin on the disaster, so we called it Dobby's Cake Creation.   

 We also served Pumpkin Juice, which all the kids tried and loved.  It was really peach lemonade.

 Mr. Boy really wanted a Harry Potter Party, but we just had spent a trillion dollars on the pool, so we had a Harry Potter Pool Party.  I even hired a lifeguard for peace of mind, which was genius.  Lucky for us, one of the many hats Aunt Cinnamon wears, happens to be "Lifeguard", plus she only requires cake as payment.

 I learned a valuable lesson, kids will eat cake, no matter how it looks.  They all preferred Dobby's cake over the pretty bakery cake.

 All the kids were smitten with Sandy,  she conned them into all the leftovers. 

 On the day of his actual birthday, we took  Mr. Birthday Boy to Whimsic Alley to be fitted for a wand. The wandmaker insisted he also needed glasses.  We mortgaged the house and succumbed to the pressure to outfit our Jr. Harry Potter. 

 

At 9:01pm, the exact moment he turned eight, we had cake and opened presents.

 

And what did Mr. Birthday Boy get?  Harry Potter Legos of course!

Dear Mr. Boy, Now you are Eight!

Dear Mr. Boy, 

On your birthday, I sit to write you a note to tell you how much I love you.  Today we watched a video your dad and I made three days after you were born.  In that video, we talked about the miraculous way you entered our lives.  You came via a birth mother that we love very much and give thanks for every single day.  I tell you this every year, but the doctor said you would arrive between 6-8pm, but no later than 9pm. You had to come into the world on your own terms at 9:01PM. This has been such an indicator of what the rest of your life would be like.  You are a born leader, anxious to lead and do things on your terms.  Your fun personality, naturally draws people to you and each and every day you make me laugh out loud.  We have so much fun together and I love being with you.

Last year on your birthday,  we didn't even have a kitchen to bake your cake! We were hunkered down in two rooms, and you often woke up to one of the Juan's hammering outside your window, or even one time, in your room.  You went with the flow, and for that I am grateful.  Now the house is done, and you love having your own room with a desk for the first time in your life.  You begged for a Star Wars room for two years, and then you discovered Harry Potter.   Just as the last set of Star Wars pillow shams arrived, you declared that you were all done with Star Wars, and you wanted a Harry Potter room.   We have tried to teach you over the year, you can be loyal to more than one thing, but it's a concept you struggle with. You can love Harry Potter and Star Wars, and the world won't fall apart.  Your loyalty is so admirable Mr. Boy, and I know it will serve you well as you grow up.

This year, we got serious about Sports and signed you up for Soccer and Baseball, and did sport type camps.  You are naturally talented at sports, and it has been a dream come true for your father.  When we sat with our social worker to discuss the traits and characteristics we were hoping for in a child, I said, I wanted a healthy baby.  Your dad said, "I want an athlete!" You have athletic roots from both your bio parents, and as I watch you learn a new sport and quickly succeed, I thank the stars above for your athletic talent.

You are strong willed and a born leader, and not afraid to speak your mind.  Learn from your mama, learn to bite your tongue.  During one of your baseball games, you tagged a player out and proceeded to smack talk the player as he walked back to the dug out.  You even threw down your glove, as you started to go at it with the player. He had provoked you a bit, and  I sat in the bleachers and watched you, mortified.  Deep down, I knew you got that fiesty spirit from me, but one of the best lessons I ever learned is knowing when to keep your mouth shut.  It's a tough lesson, and that was a great opportunity to teach you the basic concepts. I look back on that experience and laugh now, because it is just so typical of your personality.  You don't back down, and you don't take no easily for an answer.  It's a tough thing as a mom, to learn to teach you "No means No", without breaking the persistance and drive that is so innate in your personality.  I remind you again, that as your parents, we are doing the best we can.  There is no instruction manual for kids, and every child is so different.  I realized most parents have NO IDEA what they are doing, but we are all trying our best.  Here is hoping it's good enough, if not, you can either go to college or use that money for therapy, your choice.

You and AK...  *sigh* You are the best of friends and worst of enemies.  You annoy her to no end, and she annoys you right back. All day long you will complain about your pesky sister, but at the same time you are her biggest fan and will protect her at any cost.  She is lucky to have you, and you are lucky to have her.  I hope when you read this as an adult, you will remember that your sister is your most loyal friend.  She has such a deep and unconditional love for you, and a big heart.  You are both fun-seekers and I am hoping that when you are grown, you will travel the world together.   You both have a zest for life, and quest to try new things, I know that both of you will succeed in life. 

Mr. Boy, a few weeks ago you attended a Soccer Camp led by professional soccer players from the UK.  I watched you play and talked to one of the other dad's there.  He sighed, "I just don't think my son realizes just how amazing this opportunity is."  This sums up exactly my fear of raising you in Los Angeles.  Do you realize just how fabulous your life is?  I know I remind you of this all the time.  Living here provides us with so many opportunities very few kids get the chance to experience.  Not everyone gets the chance to see all the props from the Harry Potter movies, visit movie sets, swim all year round, learn soccer from the Pro's, and know famous actors only as, "Pete's Dad". Don't forget to be humble and be grateful as you grow up.  I know you hear this 100 times a day from me, "Mr. Boy, Be nice, Be grateful." but these traits of a true hero. 

I am excited for the upcoming year for you. On Sunday, you will be baptized in our church and we keep talking about how from that point on, when you do wrong, it will "count".  This thought terrifies you, as you are still learning self control. You complain, that it's hard to be nice to AK all the time. Mr. Boy, I have no doubt you will be just fine and grow into a man with good character.  At the heart of your exuberant personality is a heart of gold.  You care deeply for those you love and are compassionate to those around you.  

All day long you ask questions, you never stop.  Your mind is always going a mile a minute.  You ask the most thought provoking questions and often times I have to look up the answers.  Most of them are about Harry Potter these days, but they are also about life and other major events.  You are fascinated with Egypt and the Titanic, and we often have discussions centered around, "Would you rather this or that?"  Your questions exhaust me, but I often am reminded it is just a sign of an intelligent and inquisitive mind.

Mr. Boy, on your birthday, I am reminded again, I am the luckiest mom in the world.  Each day I gave thanks for you and your sister.  Both of you, have changed who I am for the better.  You have taught me to be nice, be more grateful and to be more patient.  Hopefully, I can teach you those same attributes over your lifetime, if not, your children will teach you them, I am sure of that.


I love you.

Love, Mom.

Reason #1,789 why I love him

Reason #1,789 why I love Mr. Man, he is a great dad.   

He asks his daughter to dance at a local street fair, and because she loves it, he doesn't stop until she is all danced out.

Santa Barbara, The Place Where I Belong

You can take me down,

You can show me your home, 

Not the place where you live, 

But the place where you belong. 

"Something to Say" ~Toad the Wet Sprocket~

Oh Santa Barbara, how I love thee. The Pueblo architecture, gorgeous ocean, and mountain views.  Even though the Chalet feels like home, so does Santa Barbara.  This is the place where I grew up.  Just as I drive past Summerland on the 101 Fwy, I feel a peace as though my heart is at home.

We spent the afternoon at the beach, where I let a whole lot of my grief flow out to the ocean.  It was a very healing afternoon, and when I left the beach, I left a good portion of my sadness and depression behind.  I felt 10 times better and the spring returned to my step.  We visited a favorite hangout for dinner, and the food replenished my soul.   I went to bed that night, and woke up the next day and felt like my old self had returned. I was full of energy and life.  Santa Barbara has always been my "healing place."  I have come there before with a heavy heart and felt like I could leave my troubled mind behind, returning refreshed. 

 

We fed the giraffes, and I have never been able to get over the luxurious life of a giraffe at the Santa Barbara Zoo.  They have a world class view, that people pay millions for.  I was excited to see the lion and lioness that I saw two years ago.  

The lioness was without her mate last time due to an illness, they had taken the lion to the vet station on the other side of the zoo.  The lioness roared and paced, anxious to be with her mate.  This agitated lioness reminded me of myself and Mr. Man.  I came back from that trip and said, "Mr. Man, it's time to get serious about a house in Los Angeles."  It was sweet to see the Lion and Lioness sleeping next to each other on a rock.  I couldn't get a good pic, and they were so sweet, I didn't want to disturb them.

The Santa Barbara Zoo has the coolest hill, covered in Astroturf, meant for sliding and surfing down.  I love it, and am starting to wonder if maybe we should cover some of the hills behind our house with astroturf and make it into a big slide. 

Mr. Boy was a natural after a few attempts. 

We always hit Palazzio's for dinner while in Santa Barbara.   

The kids always gobble up the garlic rolls, by the dozen, and the pasta is to die for. We had rousing discussions over pasta, "Would you rather be shot with an arrow, or attacked by a shark?"  "Would you rather be stung by a jellyfish or a stingray?"  Even the waiters weighed in, and "Would you rather... "  has become a favorite dinner game in our house. I never can get enough of their food, and I brought home a cooler full of pasta and rolls for Mr. Man.

 

It's become tradition to photograph the children with their zoo souvenir on these steps. 

 

AK wanted a baby cheetah that she calls, "Cheeto" and of course Mr. Boy picked a snowy owl that looked just like Hedwig from Harry Potter.

The kids loved hearing stories about when I lived in Santa Barbara. I told them all about taking Sailing Lessons in this harbor, and how one time I had to be rescued by the Coast Guard. Or about the time I dated a boy who was not very polite, and how I contemplated jumping off the wharf just to be able to end the date.
There were lots of moments of contemplation.  Mr. Boy and I both agree this is the most beautiful spot in all of California.  AK says, "It's almost as pretty as Disneyland."

I can't even tell you how much healing I feel took place during this trip.  I was able to really enjoy the kids and we laughed a lot.

I loved watching AK walk around with her enormous hat and cowgirl boots.  She later became "Santa Barbara-fied" and traded them in for flip flops.

Mr. Boy loved swimming in the ocean, and learned to body surf.  He shares my passion for the beach.

AK is growing up into a gorgeous girl.  Her laugh melts my heart.

When it came time to leave Santa Barbara, I came back a different person than when I had left.  Even Mr. Man noticed it and said, "You look all shiny and new!  I'm so glad to see the girl I know and love back." 

 

Sometimes, all you need is a trip back home to renew the soul.