Happy Ninth Birthday, Mr. Boy

Dearest Mr. Boy,
On the eve of your 9th birthday, I sit to write you a note. What a year this has been, you have changed so much this year.  You are 9 going on 15, and seem so grown up.

School was rough for you this year, and I wish I could rewind the clock and do this school year over. I didn't make the best choices when it came to figuring out how to handle problems. Can I tell you a secret? As the oldest. child you get the short end of the stick sometimes. I'm still trying to figure this parenting gig out. In all honesty I have no idea what I'm doing. I've never done this before and as the first kid, you are my guinea pig. I'm sorry for the mistakes I've made and am yet to make.

This year you have had a hard time trying to figure out playground politics. You want to be friends and liked by everyone, but not everyone seems to like each other. It's been tough to navigate, but you have tried to be kind to everyone. Mr. Boy, I want you to remember this... Be nice. The nice guy doesn't always win, life is super unfair that way. But the nice guy always comes out with his head held high and a clean conscious. That is something you can't put a price tag on.

Right now you are so headstrong and you think you know better than me. Some days I get so frustrated because I feel like everything is a fight. I love you and I don't want to fight with you. However, the tenacity that you use to get your way gives me great hope for your future. When you put your mind to something, you will not stop until the outcome you desire is achieved. I hope that carries into your academics and your career.

 We lost our beloved dogs Sandy & Skoopi this year and you took it so very hard.  You would sit and watch cartoons on the floor with a dog on each side of you.  It kills me to see you still reach over to pet a dog that is not there.  Zoey has been a godsend and she totally bonded to you, but you still feel the void of having gone from two dogs to one.  It's not fair, Mr. Boy, you lost your Nana, and your dogs all in one year.  That is too much grief for an 8 year old. There are many nights when your grief bubbles to the surface and that is okay.  Yes, they were just dogs, but they were also your constant companions.  I miss them too. 

Mr. Boy, you are destined for great things. I just hope I can raise you right so you can realize your potential. When you were in Kindergarten at the little Jesus-lovin school that we loved so much, your teacher sat me down and told me, "Mademoiselle, this boy is a born leader.  I have no doubt that he will be an important person in history. However, he is going to lead people to greatness or lead people to evil, it's up to us to help him be good." Her words have stuck with me ever since.  I hope I can help you achieve greatness, and if you become President of the United States, you better invite me to the White House Easter Egg Hunt.

Your grades were terrible this year, it wasn't your best academic year.  We can blame the teacher or some of the challenges at home, but really you and I both know that you just didn't really give it your all.  You are wicked smart, and soak up knowledge like a sponge.  You are fascinated with Egypt, The Titanic, Bigfoot, The Loch Ness Monster, World War II and any other war involving uniforms and blood.   Unfortunately none of those topics came up in your 3rd grade curriculum, so we learned about it on our own, which I loved every single minute of it.   Mr. Boy, you have to try your hardest in school, it's important and I hope you realize that now.

When you asked, "Why are grades so important, anyway?"  we told you all about getting good grades so that you can go to a good university.   You were completely blown away by the idea that you get to live with your best friends in an apartment while you go to school without mom and dad.  This sounds like nirvana to you and Mr. Boy... college is awesome! It's a privilege you are going to have to earn, and since we have become "crazy obsessed with the right answers on homework"  you are learning the important lesson, "It's always faster to do things right the first time." Yes, even your homework. 

Somewhere over the course of the year, xBox became huge in our house, particularly the game of Halo.  You are obsessed with it.  We all started playing as a family and joked that "The family that slays together, stays together."  Then your skills far surpassed mine and now I'm not invited to play with you and dad anymore.   I love that you have something to share with your dad, he is a super involved father, and you have no idea how lucky you are to have a dad like that in your life. 

You and AK are the best of friends and biggest enemies.   I try to keep reminding myself that I had a love/hate relationship with my brothers and now my oldest brother and I are the dearest of friends.  A few days ago we were on an outing and a little boy was being selfish with some toys that AK wanted to play with.  You were all tough and tried to stand up for your sister and then for two days you talked about that "Dumb stupid boy at the park."   It gave me hope that you will be there for your sister. 

As playground politics were becoming more tense this year, a couple of the parents got together and sat a few of the kids down.   We formed a secret gang and you guys are responsible for having each other's backs.  I can't imagine what Jr. High and High School are going to be like and what schools you will attend, but I hope you can have this alliance of good friends to help you navigate the world.  There is safety in numbers, remember that, and you can never have enough good friends. 

Mr. Boy, you are one lucky boy.   We live in the most amazing time, everyone walks around with phones that act as computers!  I can't imagine what the world will be like in 20 years.  You have such a zest for life and I love being with you.   I hope that we can have many adventures in the future and that I can take you to see the pyramids in Egypt and try and hunt down Nessie in Scotland.   I love you.

Love,
Mom

Would Sir desire a juice box?

 

Something happened last week and the Super Ultimate Mega Summer took it's toll on my family.  My kids turned from Partners in Fun to Grouchypants.   We tried going to bed and starting the day over at 3pm one day.  Everyone climbed back in bed, we started over with good morning and pleasantries and I made waffles at 3pm, pretending it was really 9am.  Then the bickering started over who got more chocolate chips on their waffle.   I stood there exasperated....  and out tumbled out, "Do you understand how lucky you are?   When I was little, I didn't even get to have waffles.... much less with chocolate chips!  We ate CAROB chips for a treat... do you even know what that tastes like? Like dirt... and cow poop...."   

I froze... I sounded like a crazy old woman.   This is not the right approach.   So a few nights later when Mr. Boy was feeling grouchy and feisty... I made him take a bath.   He fought me on it, but I wrestled him into the tub.  Literally, sticking him in the tub against his will.  Then I delivered dinner to him, pretending he was a king.   After he was done, I wrapped him in a towel, rubbed his back, and put him to bed, an hour early.  Somehow the royal treatment and the warm water melted away his bad attitude.

Last night, I was in a grouchy mood with a pounding headache.  Mr. Man came home and I cried and ranted to him. He gave me a hug and said, "Would my lady desire a bath?"  Ah... yes attitude is contagious and I decided mine needed to be washed away with a long hot bath... although instead of nuggets served tubside, I demanded a fruity drink and a trashy mag.  

Deer Abby, Does this make me a grandma?

Jane Doe, one of the resident deer was looking a little plump this last month.   Not surprising since she had been hanging around Buck Owens one of the male deer around Valentine's Day.  I swear I saw them dancing in the moonlight one evening.  June is the month of Deer Babies around these parts and it is my favorite time of year.   The evening that Jane went into labor I got all prepped and ordered Mr. Man to boil some water.  

 Shockingly, Jane wanted nothing to do with me while she was in labor, so I left her alone.   The next morning she brought her new fawn by to show her off. I. am. smitten. 

 

This little fawn is way better than prozac, she is an instant mood lifter.  I am so crazy in love with this little fawn.   I just want to squeeze her and make her my pet.  Mr. Man is adamant... "No deer in the house!"  But shhh... I'm going to try and convince Lucky and Jane to live inside the Chalet, I'm pretty sure I can train them to sit on the couch and watch basketball.  Did you know that baby deer make a meowing sound when they talk to their mom?

 Later that evening, the rest of the herd came by to dote on the new fawn.  It was kind of like a deer baby shower. 

Jane was so proud, she couldn't stop smiling and nuzzling her  baby.   We named the baby "Lucky", because we felt so lucky to have this baby fawn around. 

Well, well, well, and look who showed up to celebrate Lucky's arrival, Buck Owens aka Lucky's Dad!

 

He looks pretty impressed with himself, don't you think? 

Kicking off the Super Ultimate Mega Summer with a luxurious BANG!

When you declare that you will embark on " The Super Ultimate Mega Summer, Part Deux" you can't just start it off with some humdrum day of laziness.  You have to start it off right, with flair, sizzle, and some mandatory relaxation.   So we packed up the Fun-mobile for a little road trip to the desert.   It was drizzling and foggy in Los Angeles, but sunny and warm just outside of Palm Springs.   I really don't understand why it takes so much gear to for one family for one weekend.  I swear Mr. Man always packs way too many shoes...

    

You might remember this place from last year.   During tax season last year, I totally ran away to this place. 

 

This resort is super fancy and when you drive through the gates, you can't help but feel pampered and like, "Oh yes, actually....I WOULD like a $9 ice cream sandwich!  That seems like a fair price, and you know what?  I deserve it."  

Even better than the luxurious accommodations is the chance to hang out with some of my very favorite people.   I love these kids and their parents so very much.   They are fabulous travel companions, with the exception of AK, who turns into a crazy party animal when the lights are out.   We might have to leave her at home next time. 

These boys decided that since neither of them have brothers, they should be honorary brothers.   Truthfully, sometimes it's better to have "family" that you get to pick.   

 

These bigger boys crack me up, as they swapped stories under a crazy romantic canopy bed.   It felt like a slumber party for the adults as we stayed up late and chatted.  

  

During the days, we walked to one of the many pools,

  

and swam,

and lounged in the poolside cabana, 

and swam some more.  Or sometimes, we'd float and read a magazine.

Mr. Relaxed Man is my favorite of all the versions of Mr. Man.  He was so relaxed, he actually read a book by the pool.  He hasn't read a book in 12 years, because he claims he hasn't had enough downtime to sit around and "just read". Excuses! Excuses! I say!  

 

Mr. Man and I were able to lounge together and talk... really talk without interruption on this trip.  I hate that our lives are such that we don't have time  make it a priority to spend quality time.   I realized on this trip, that we need to make it a priority in our lives, because goodness, he is fascinating and I really like spending time with him. 

 

We indulged in those $9 Ice Cream Sandwiches and didn't bat an eye.  My inner scrooge had been left at the gates of the resort. 

At the end of the day, we would walk back to the hacienda, tired, yet refreshed.

The kids would have movie night, while the adults relaxed.  It was the perfect way to start our summer. 

 

One evening while the dads were entertaining the kids, I slipped out for a walk.  The sun was setting and everything was so gorgeous.

While I walked past the beloved pool cabanas, I thought about our trip here last year.   I was so very broken, and still so raw with grief from my mom's death.  I was stuck in that stage where I didn't want to be left alone for fear that my grief would overcome me, and yet I kind of just wanted to be left alone.  It doesn't make sense, but grief doesn't really make sense.  I remember laughing really hard the first night on the trip and thinking, "Oh hello happy heart, come and stay for awhile."

I thought about how much things have changed in the last year, how far I've come, and how lucky I am.  Last year I had a hard time seeing past the bad and realizing I was surrounded by so much good.  My mom's cancer was awful and there were some events that were so traumatic, it shook me to my core.

 

Even though I still miss my mom and long to reverse the clock, I am so incredibly lucky. I have so many things to be grateful for.   I have been very blessed,  my life is bliss.  I returned from my walk full of gratitude, for my kids, my friends, their kids, and all the good things around me.  God has been good to me.

 

When the weekend came to a close, Mr. Man was relaxed, I was refreshed, and the kids were happily exhausted. 

On the way home, Mr. Boy declared in a sleepy voice, "Best Vacation Ever."  Then he drifted off into a deep sleep.

A big thank you to our faithful Cabana lady Mary, who granted every wish from our pampered kids, our hosts: The Irish Family, and the La Quinta Resort.  Vive le Ultimate Super Mega Summer, Part Deux!

Allegedly, I'm a bad influence

For the last year we have had passes to Disneyland, the happiest place on earth with some friends of ours.  We have enjoyed our time immensely, and every single time we hit California Adventure, AK checks her height to see if she is tall enough for "Screaming!".   It's the big roller coaster at California Adventure.   She has been about a half an inch shy of the height requirement for most of the year.  In May, she was a quarter inch too short. Finally last week she was tall enough. 

 

 This girl is spunky, feisty, and fearless.   She will do anything if it is fun and loved every single minute of the roller coaster. 

 I cannot confirm or deny that she had help with a pair of spare underwear tucked into her shoes to help push her over the height requirement.  That would make me a reckless and careless mother, I know.   However, it wouldn't be the first time I broke the rules at Disneyland.  In 8th grade, my friends and I sunk a log boat mid-ride on Splash Mountain.   I got a first hand look at the Disneyland Jail that day and learned that Disney Security doesn't  really have the best sense of humor. 

 When we were hypothetically discussing whether or not to use underwear to help AK gain that quarter of an inch, Mr. Boys friend graciously offered up his underwear for the cause.  Thanks, but no thanks, as a mom, I seem to always carry spares. 

 

But I can't decide if that makes him the perfect partner in crime or a very loyal friend?

Welcome to the Super Ultimate Mega Summer, Part Deux

It is no secret that I'm a terrible "Responsible School Mom", I can't stand homework, fundraising, and the mountains of paperwork that come home in those dang folders each week.  Do not even get me started on AK's 4am Kindergarten Start time.  My kids are not early risers.  Only the deer get up early around these parts, but they get the luxury of an afternoon nap.

I love Summer and after our "Chalet Renovation Summer", I declared last summer to be the "Super Ultimate Mega Summer."  I cleared the calender for the most part, and we spent our days in the pool with our friends over.  There was something magical about just seeing where the day took us.   We are over-scheduled all year long, so summer is the time for being under-scheduled.  This year after a unanimous family vote, we have declared this.... *drumroll please*   

"The Super Ultimate Mega Summer, Part Deux"  

(because we are French, oui?) 

On the last day of school, my true love gave to me....  one dancing mom and two cheerful kids. 

 

We took our traditional last day of school pictures, and comparing them to the first day of school, it looks like my kids get an A+ for growing out their hair. 

 The whole house was in a good mood and we were dancing all they way into school. 

 Mr. Boy always turns to me and says, "I love you" before he walks into school, and I wonder every time... "Is this the last time he'll do that?"  I am not a fan of this growing up business. 

While the kids were at school for the last day, I got down business and stocked up on supplies for the summer.

 I got the car ready for the Summer, loading it with beach chairs, towels, and water.. I have decorated the car for the last few years and the kids love it.  (FYI, These are the best window markers ever!)

My favorite parts of summer....  watching TV on my bed

Lazy mornings with sugary cereals and some serious bedhead.  

Wearing jammies and having crazy curly "I don't care" hair all day long.

 or wearing our favorite "Relaxipants (tm)"  all day and all night. 

 And the best part of course.....  Swimming!!

 Come and join us one and all for the Ultimate Super Mega Summer (Part Deux)!!  Let the wild rumpus begin!

On the eve of Summer 2012

School gets out tomorrow, and as someone who holds summer sacred, I am ecstatic.  Mr. Boy will finish third grade tomorrow, and enter the fourth grade in the fall.

There has been a lot of talk in our house about his upcoming birthday.  He has wanted an army man party for a few months, but has suddenly changed his mind.  Mr. Boy plays Army Man quite often on the hillside and when we saw these army helmets today I just had to get some for him and AK, in hopes to sway him back to an army themed party.

Tonight as I was putting things away in the kitchen, Mr. Boy was feeling chatty and sat at the island talking about all sorts of things.  Legos, Navy Seals, Big Foot, Army Men, and upcoming activities.  He was full of questions as always... and I stopped and looked at him sitting there in his army helmet, fiddling with Legos, and I just wanted to yell out, "Time! Time Out!  Stop the clock!" while gesturing frantically to the referee.  Not because I need a break, because I just want to pause this moment forever.  How did this boy get to be almost nine years old?   Where did the time go?   How do we slow this aging train down? 

 

Soon those delicious cheeks will melt away, and he won't be caught dead pretending to be an army man.  I'll become so uncool that I'll be "soooooooooo embarrassing" and this boy won't be caught be dead talking to me. 

 

Today, I am grateful that school will be out, so that I won't have to share these kids with their teachers who have them for most of the day.   I will buy my own army helmet and play on the hillside pretending to blow things up and shoot down the enemy planes. I'm ready for goofy face contests, swimming, and stories around the fire pit.  There is no pause button in life, but at least summer allows for you to slow it down a little.

Mother of all Mother's Days

A picture of the lovely breakfast my kids prepared for me. 

Mother's Day is the most glorious day of the year in our house.  Mr. Man and the kids spoil me and I look forward to their love notes, which is my favorite gift. 

After a sugar laden breakfast prepared by the kids, topped off with chocolate croissants from Mr. Man.  We went off to church, where the children sang a medley of songs about mothers.  I'm actually in charge of the children in our church, so I was the one who was wrangling them up on the stand to sing.   After the children sang, my beautiful boy exited the stage and proceeded to walk on his knees all the way across the chapel on his knees to the pew in the back.  I was mortified, he was not. 

Later, during Sunday School, my sweet boy pulled out the chair from a kid who was about to sit down.  The child hit his head, and I spent spent the rest of the Sunday Service soothing the injured child and seething.   How on earth am I going to stay sane raising my Always-the-Comedian Mr. Boy? 

A pounding headache was rounding out mother's day, and I decided to take to my bed.  I laid down, closed my eyes, and missed my mother. 

When I woke up, there were Mr. Boys apologetic big blue eyes inches from mine.  There was a tearful apology from him, followed by a fabulous dinner prepared by Mr. Man. 

That night as I checked on the kids before going to bed, I stopped and pondered the miracle that these children are mine.  I thought about their birthmothers who had given me the gift of motherhood and admired their courage.  Out of all the people in the world, they chose me to be the mother of their child.  As I ran my fingers through the kids tousled hair, I remembered that these kids are the reason Mother's day is the most glorious day.