I'm supposed to be having Brain Surgery today, but unfortunately or fortunately, it was postponed for a few more weeks. I've been absent from my virtual life lately because I've been really busy trying to live my life to the fullest as one is prone to do when they were convinced they were dying.
Confused? Let me back up... I have a bump on my forehead that never went away. I didn't think much of it until I realized that it's tender to the touch and it is growing. I knew something was not right because at every cat scan or x-ray, a crowd would form in the observation area and you could see the techs mouthing the words, "What is that?" to each other. Some would come in and touch my forehead and then look at the scans and try to compare them.
Unfortunately, I have what they consider to be a brain tumor, but it really is a skull tumor. It's a tumor in my skull growing out from my forehead (a horn! a unicorn horn!) and is growing out from my skull into my brain. If it wasn't growing both outwardly and inwardly, I'd be tempted to keep my horn around.
It explains a lot, I've had some headaches and some symptoms that I'm hoping will go away. No one in the medical field will actually admit it's a Unicorn Horn, but I think we all know that a bony mass protruding from one's forehead is really a horn. I can't wait for my magical powers to show up.
The unfortunate thing about this tumor is the fact that the original CT scan suggested this was a secondary tumor from Metastatic Breast Cancer, which is the
same disease that stole my mom. For five days I was convinced I was dying and I'm not going to lie it was terrifying. Bottom line it's not breast cancer, and for that I'm incredibly grateful. I still don't think I've recovered from that week.
There are many good things that have come out of this, one of them is that Mr. Man has been my rock through all of it. We have utilized the phrase, "Let's pretend that tomorrow doesn't matter." and gone on adventures. One night it led us to a last minute concert where we danced and sang our troubles away with a favorite band. Another night it led us out to dinner and ordered Lobster, the most expensive item on the menu. There is a lot of small stuff in our life and it's true, we don't really need to sweat most it.
I refer to my brain tumor as "my horn," and feel in some ways like I'm a host. I've taken my tumor out to fancy dinners, to the beach, and to Alaska. I kind of feel like I should make a scrapbook and present it to my Neurosurgeon and tell him, "I made a scrapbook of all the places I took my tumor!"
Humor is the only way I know how to cope with all of this, so I'm cracking jokes to everyone's dismay. I'm going to be fine, I know it. I'm supposed to be having brain surgery today, but since I'm not, I'm going to take my tumor on another adventure. After all life is short and some days you have to live like tomorrow doesn't matter.
