Pitying the fool, that would be me.

All during Tax Season I keep a notebook handy and jot down all the little things I want to do when it's over.   It's mostly house projects or outings and once tax season ends I have about 5 weeks while my kids are in school to indulge in my list before we go into Ultimate Super Mega Summer Mode.

After a quick family trip, I got super sick and recovery has been slow. In the meantime the universe has been kicking my rear.  I have whined and complained and thrown tantrums that involve phrases such as, "Ugh!  I just want to hem my curtains and paint my chair!"   It's all really silly, and I know that life happens and things don't always go according to plan.   I haven't really been coping with that concept the last few weeks.  

Cars break down, kids get sick, pipes break, but at the end of the day, my family is safe and sound.   After weeks like these, I just want to say, "Woe is me" for the dumbest of reasons.  But then I look at the pictures I've taken over the last few "terrible weeks" and I see...

A young puppy who is full of joy

A little girl who stops dead in her tracks and says, "Mom!!  Look these flowers are so pretty."

And still believes that she really does have superpowers.

 I am grateful that I take lots of photos, because it helps me see the beautiful things in my every day life.  I really am the luckiest girl and have a very charmed life. Eventually the curtains did get hemmed, and while I was at it, I taught Miss AK how to sew too. It was a lot more satisfying helping her sew a small purse, than it was checking one more item off my to do list. 

Over the last few weeks, I've taken this boy to nine different doctor appointments.  The upside was we got to spend lots of one and one time, and this boy, makes me laugh like no one else.   He contracted a rare virus and while he recovers we got to do lots of this. 

And really who can complain about life like this?  Tell me, am I the only one who gets wrapped up in my own pity party? 

The 36 Things Project: Item 19 - Run for my Mom

This year I set a goal of 36 things to do for my 36th year.  Some are meaningful, some are mundane, some are silly.  Follow along as I check things off my list. 

19.  Run for my Mom - This year I want to participate in a run in honor of my mom.   I know participating in a run won't cure cancer, but it will feel like I'm doing something in the fight to end cancer.

Cancer is a thief.   I have said it over and over again, and it's true.  I miss my mom and I just can't sit by and let Cancer win.  I know my actions are a raindrop in a vast ocean when it comes to fighting cancer, but at least I'm trying.  This year our family joined the American Cancer Society to participate on a team for "Relay for Life".   It's a 24 hour walk that raises funds for Cancer Research and Patient Services.  My family volunteered to take the "Stars Wars Lap" and walked for an hour and then passed the baton to other members of our team who took over.  We dressed in costume and it was a great thing to involve the kids in.  

We wore signs on our backs to show that we were doing this for Nana. 

Earlier in the month as a family we decorated a "Luminaria" that would be placed along the path in memory of my mom. 

 I wanted my mom's personality to shine through, she was such a vibrant person. 

I also volunteered to walk the 9-11pm time slot alone for our team and would be walking along a path lit by luminaries.  Each luminaria represents someone who has either survived or lost their life to cancer.  I knew it would be hard, but I just couldn't fathom how many luminaries there would be.  It is just too many people.... way too many people.   My heart ached for each one of these families. 

 

The first time I walked the path at night, I kept looking for my mom's Luminaria.  I wanted to shout out, "Marco" just to hear her say, "Polo" which was my families signature call.  I knew the Luminaria was just a paper bag, but in some ways it felt like it was her.   Finally, I found her at the end of my first lap.  It still shocks me how overwhelming grief can be at times.

I am glad that I was able to do this even though it was hard, even though I cried a lot, because I realized I am not alone in this journey.   Cinnamon walked with me for several laps, even though she would be walking her time slot later that evening.  People shared their stories with me and freely talked about their losses.  I met a lady who had lost her mom when she was my age and she told me her story.  She hugged me, even though she didn't know me and said, "Losing my mom was hard, but it made me a more compassionate person.  You are going to be okay, I promise."   

Those are the words I needed to hear, and the words I miss most.  I used to call my mom and say, "Oh, Mr. Boy is driving me bonkers right now, he won't listen to me."  Or  "Ugh! Who invented toddlers?"  I called my mom for reassurance and encouragement and I miss that. This walk made me remember that there is a whole host of people that surround me and give me love and encouragement.  I am not alone and I am doing okay, and this was a great way to be reminded of that.

Take your cheetah to work day

In honor of  "National Take Your Children to Work" Day, something I participated in when I worked for a fancy firm, I thought I would show pictures from when I took "Cheeto" to work with me.  Have you met Cheeto?  He is AK's beloved Cheetah and on April 15th, she sent him to work with me to "help out" at AK's suggestion. 

His lack of thumbs really didn't lend itself to preparing tax returns, so I gave him other duties, like filing.

He also took a spin at answering phones.   "No Ma'am, your dog is not a dependent." 

And at the end of the day, Cheeto celebrated with a champagne toast.   I had sparkling cider, so that I could be designated driver for Cheeto.

AK was tickled at seeing all the pictures of Cheeto throughout the day and the staff had a great time blaming all the things that went wrong on Cheeto, he made for a really nice scapegoat.   The only hiccup with the day was when AK wanted to see Cheeto's paycheck... which made me wonder if this was really a moneymaking scheme on her part.

Ridemakerz Party #XtremeCustomzParty

My kids have oogled outside the Ridemakerz store many times and I was thrilled to host a Ridemakerz Mommy Party.   When I brought out the boxes for the boys to try out, they couldn't wait to rip into them.

Ridemakerz are cars that you can customize that come with an assortment of different accessories.   The boys loved trying all the different accessorizes.   AK couldn't resist and had to join in all the fun. 

 After the cars were built and fully tricked out, we engaged in races.   The kids were anxious to "hit the pits" during the races to switch out wheels or accessories.  

My 2 cents for what it's worth, the kids loved the concept and have spent hours since racing their cars and changing out the parts.  It's for kids five and up, and everyone who came was able to build their car on their own.  Getting the pieces out of the package, was a task adults had to help with, but that isn't uncommon.   Some of the pieces were chronically coming off, but the kids seemed to enjoy that it "added to the drama"  of the race. 

 Big thanks to Ridemakerz and MommyParties for letting me host and to all our guest who came. (many of whom aren't pictured here.)

All Xtreme Customz by Ridemakerz toys provided by MommyParties and Ridemakerz.  All opinions expressed are my own!

March in Review

Contrary to the saying, March came in like a lamb at our house and out like a lion.  By the end of the month, I felt like was treading water trying to stay afloat.  It's my career choice, tax season always takes it toll, but for whatever reason, this tax season was slow to start, and then the last three weeks were brutal.  I always threaten to retire around March 30th, and this year was no different. Here is the month of March, in picture form.

Mr. Boy insisted on dressing up for Dr. Seuss Day, we made a Green Eggs and Ham Shirt and hat, and realized when we got to school, no one else was dressing up. Mr. Boy wore his jacket on all day, and stashed his hat in his backpack pretty quickly.  I hated seeing his enthusiasm squashed.

We took the kids miniature golfing for the very first time.

J

AK had her "Showcamp" performance which is like a dancing vocal choir.  She loved it and is a natural performer, and uses "Jazz Hands" at every opportunity.

We went out for a fancy dinner with the kids, where Mr. Boy begrudgingly ate his dessert.  I was reminded that my kids are being raised by different parents than I was. When I was growing up, my family NEVER ever ordered dessert at restaurants, sugar was evil, so to me it is a big treat, but to him, it's no big deal. 

Mr. Boy decided to take the plunge and cut off his long golden locks...

He loved the steam towel and the massage that came with his haircut.

It took me a few days to adjust to the new cut.  We also celebrated St. Patrick's Day also known as "Mr. Boys Day".  We met his beautiful birthmom on St. Patrick's Day ten years ago, and a few months later she placed this beautiful Irish babe in my arms. I am grateful to her and to birthmoms everywhere for giving me the gift of motherhood.

 

AK-47 finally learned how to ride a bike and has spent hours circling the Chalet in her bike. Living on a hill is a terrible place to try to teach a child to ride a bike, but she mastered it. 

I took the week off during Spring Break and we indulged in all sorts of laziness and fun activities.

We had Frozen Yogurt for Brunch, lounged by the pool, and tried out this new Jumpy contraption.

The kids spent many long afternoons "camping" and playing army man in the hills.   I never tire of the golden light that bathes the hillside at sundown.

One night I slipped away for a girls night out to see one of my favorite bands, "Imagine Dragons".  Thanks to the YES project of last year, I was reminded just how much I love to see live shows. 

We also went with our friends to see the play "Madeline and the Gypsies"  at our favorite little theater.  Miss AK went in costume of course.

Crazy Hair Day arrived at school and AK proclaimed she wanted "Pink Ponies" in her hair.   She is begging for Pinkalicious Permanent Pink Hair these days.  It was also Crazy Sock Day at school and AK, who wears crazy knee high socks daily, decided to wear "regular people's matching socks" that day.  The girl has mastered the art of ironic humor at the age of 7.  Poor Mr. Boy wanted nothing to do with crazy hair or sock day, being that he was still mortified that he was the only one who participated in Dr. Seuss day.  

By the end of the month I had fully retreated into my tax cave where I crunched numbers all day long and daydreamed of summer days spent at my beloved Chalet.

Right now...

Right now I'm sprinting to the finish for tax season. All I want to do is whine and complain... about my messy house, the stack of papers on my desk, and how tired I am, but right now as the sun comes up behind the hillside, I am sitting outside with the dogs and this is my view.  

The house is quiet as my family sleeps, the lunches are packed, and I'm sitting here quietly with my thoughts.   The deer come down the hill to greet me and I spot Lucky, who was this darling little spotted fawn born last summer.

The kids named him Lucky, because we are lucky to have him in our lives.  I love his name and on this morning it  reminds me of how lucky I am. I am reminded just how many things I have to be grateful for.  I have my family, our health, my friends, and this beautiful house.  Today I'm grateful for the quiet time I spend in the morning, it's always worth it. Right now, I'm a lucky girl.

The Yes Project: I face my biggest fear

Part of an ongoing project called, "The Yes Project", where I resolve to say YES more to opportunities that come my way.  Click here to see the other posts.

I found a bunch of draft posts that I had forgotten about because I got distracted with our Super Ultimate Mega Summer.  This event took place last Jully.   **Warning this post contains snake pictures and violence.**

"Expose yourself to your deepest fear; after that, fear has no power, 

and the fear of freedom shrinks and vanishes. You are free." 

Jim Morrison

I am terrified of snakes, especially rattlesnakes, so much so, that when we were in escrow to buy the Chalet, I woke up in a cold sweat one night screaming, "We can't move!"   I realized that the hillside probably had snakes as residents and there is no way I can live in a house that was "snake adjacent".   Mr. Man knows me, understands my fear, and we had the Juans build a "snake wall" around the perimeter of the property to keep snakes out.

 I have had a few encounters with garter and king snakes hiking in the hills, but snakes don't really like people so we have an understanding to stay out of each others way.   When we got back from a vacation, I was out clearing some brush that had grown behind the back gate.   I pulled out a clump of grass and found a snake under the brush, about 2 inches from my flip flop covered foot.  It was coiled and shaking it's rattle at me. 

Can you see it hiding in there? 

I jumped out of the way and ran into the house through the back door, then out through the front door and down the hill.   Screaming and waving my arms the whole way, and then I got my phone out and dialed Mr. Man, because here is a little confession.   I am the worst person to have in an emergency.  That whole "Fight or Flight" response...  I'm definitely a flight as in, I run and I run far.

Mr. Man is in a meeting but answers and tells me "First of all, just leave it alone and it will scurry away.  Second, Um... where are you? Did you leave the kids alone?"   Oh shoot, I just ran out of the house leaving them alone.   I ran back up to the house and decided I couldn't just go on with my day knowing there was a rattlesnake living so close to our house. I took a peek and the snake was still there sitting on the stone step behind our gate.   

I had that moment, where I knew this was MY moment, to confront my fear and channel my inner warrior woman.   I could conquer this fear and protect my family.  My year of "Yes" was all about facing things that were uncomfortable.   I brought Mr. Boy out and had him stand on the safe side of the snake wall, and gave him my phone and told him to call Dad if anything happened.   Mr. Boy was encouraging, "Mom, you can do this!" and then he started taking a video of the whole thing.  I summoned all my courage and killed the snake, who had remained coiled up.   

 

I screamed at the top of my lungs, "I am a Warrior Woman."  I was so proud of myself for confronting my fear and I called Mr. Man who put me on speaker phone to tell everyone in his meeting about how I slayed the snake. 

Later that morning, the deer came by and I couldn't help but tell them, "I faced my biggest fear today!  I killed a rattlesnake, I can do anything!" 

Then I  let out a war cry, grabbed onto one of Buckbeak's antlers, hoisted myself onto his back and rode off into the sunset. 

36 Things Project: Items 13-24

 Last year I took on The Yes Project and I loved where it took me.   I'm still continuing with saying Yes more often than no.   This year I want to live with more purpose and deal with some things that have been nagging me.  Some of these are things that seem to swirl above me on those sleepless nights.  So for this year, I have come up with "36 Things"  to accomplish for my 36th year.  Some of them are big, some of these are boring, some are optimistic.  

Here are the next 12  items on my "36 Things" list. 

13. Swim everyday this summer
I'm an Aquarius, a water sign, and I have wondered if I'm really part fish.   Swimming is my passion, being in the water is my favorite place to be.   On the summer days I don't swim, I always think, "The things I did instead of swimming weren't worth it."  This Ultimate Super Mega Summer is going to be pool-centric, bring on the pruney fingers.

14. Update the Master Bedroom
 This is the last room in the house that still has the vanilla walls from our Pre-Juan Days. The silly thing is that the master bedroom is my second favorite room in the house, so it should be a priority.  The furniture is all there, it just needs some paint and new bedding.  (In case you don't know, my kitchen is my very favorite room.)

A rough sketch of what should happen to my oh so blah living room

 15.  Hang some pictures
I have a reoccurring nightmare that Nate Berkus shows up at my house and screams in horror at the lack of personal details in my house.   I can hear him saying, "Where are the photos?  The treasures?  Where is your personality? Your house is a yawn-fest." I need to add some pizazz and pep to my house, something that says, "Hey, you are a fun person!" This year, I will hang up pictures and make my house look like we live here.

16.  Finish 10 chapters of my book
There is a story that needs to be shared and I have outlined and plotted it all out.  It's something my family has encouraged me to do and I have stopped and started it a 100 times.   I need to stop putting the dishes first and write, it's better for my mind and spirit.


17.  Submit book for publishing
I need to get up the courage to submit my writing for publishing and embrace the rejection letters as they come.  (Maybe I could frame them and hang them an accomplish #15 at the same time.) 

18.  Write a note to one of my High School Teachers who influenced me
High School wasn't my favorite for lots of reasons and I felt like a square peg in a round hole.   There were a handful of teachers who really were influential.  Mr. Phreaner, taught me to love Shakespeare and I wish I wo.uld have written him a note to let him know how much I loved his enthusiasm for good books before he passed away.  He taught me to write "in my own voice."  I still vividly remember him clutching Romeo and Juliet and having to steady himself because he was so moved by the words of Shakespeare.

19.  Run for my Mom
This year I want to participate in a run in honor of my mom.   I know participating in a run won't cure cancer, but it will feel like I'm doing something in the fight to end cancer. 

20.  Find a kid friendly service project
I loved participating in The Hundred Dresses Project with my kids. It was a great project to work on with the kids and get them involved.   This year I want to find a project I can do with my kids to help them become more compassionate people.  

21.  Host a Glam Dinner Party
On my list of things I've wanted to do was to host a grown up dinner party, hopefully 20's themed.   I keep thinking it would be perfect to do around the release of the upcoming Great Gatsby Movie. 

22.  Visit Santa Barbara
This is home for me, and every summer we make an annual trek.   Except last summer I was busy with my dad's big move across country.  We just didn't make it, and since I have been feeling a bit orphaned in the last year, I think some time at the place I consider "home" will do some good.

23.  Read 12 books
I love to read, but I swear once I sit down to read, I fall right to sleep.  It took me 3 months to get through my last book, the pace was embarrassing.   I have a tall stack of books I want to read this year, and I'm hoping to get through at least 12.  

24.  Bring back the Friday Night Date Night
Mr. Man and I were so good about doing a Friday night date regularly before we moved, but during the remodel, the dates were replaced with dates perusing the aisles of Home Depot hand in hand.   Now, it's more of an issue that I'm too lazy to plan for the sitter and it's just easier to stay home.  That is the very reason I started The Yes Project, becuase no is the easy answer.  

February 2012 - In a Nutshell

The month of February... in pictures.

I got to work on my 36 things list and started painting the hallway with my pal Zeena.   She thought the dropcloths made a really great napping spot. 

I volunteered at the school's fun run, where I watched AK entertain the crowd with cartwheels and watched her start a high five line.   She did not care one bit about the number of laps but was focused on making sure everyone had a good time.

We joined our friends at the Monster Truck Rally, where AK decided that instead of a rock star she would much rather be a Monster Truck Driver.  I'm just hoping she lets me drive her Monster Truck every once in a while.

We found these sweet valentines for our friends at school  AK filled out the maze on every single valentine after she wrote their name on it.   At first I thought about having AK redo them, but it  was just so funny, and so very AK, that we left them.  So for AK's class, everyone got a used maze and a new pencil.    On Valentines Day, we had Grandma over for a fancy dinner and did "Cupid's Cafe."   Everyone had a menu and you didn't know if you were ordering your dessert or a fork because everything on the menu had a nickname. The kids loved it and it was one of the best Valentine's Days ever.

Baby Rollerhand learned the fine art of the "Photobomb".  

 We had our annual Fat Tuesday dinner and this year I made Gumbo from scratch.

 Mr. Man (who lived in Louisana for a time) always entertains us by telling us stories in Cajun.

I love waking up to find these little scenes around the house.  This one was made my AK, and it's called "Farm Meeting." 

We saw Shakespeare's "Midsummer Nights Dream" at our favorite children's theater.  They put on the best plays and it is one of my favorite things to do on a Saturday. 

After trying to come up with an appropriate activity to remember my mom, Mr. Boy said, "Mom, she'd want us at the beach or in the pool" and he was absolutely right.   We blew off our responsibilities and played the day away with our toes in the sand. 

It was the perfect way to honor my mom and I foresee a new tradition.  

 

Mr. Boy completed another procedure on his jaw and was such a brave guy.  Three years ago he had cellulitis (a very scary staph infection) in his jaw that caused a lot of damage to the tissue and bone.  I hate watching my child be the patient, I feel very helpless.

We spent lots of evenings in the jacuzzi and even ate dinner in there one night.

AK and I had a girls night while the boys were out and watched Brave in costume while eating cupcakes. 

Zoey found a quick and easy way to get access to the pool without having to wait for someone to open that pesky gate.   She looks so dang proud of herself like she is saying, "I DID IT!  I found a new way!  Hooray!"