I did it, survived surgery on my brain. The whole magnitude of what I had done really didn't hit me until yesterday. I'm still a little freaked out that I had people messing around inside my head. The tumor was removed successfully, it was bigger than anticipated, but all is well. Pathology results in a week or two.
Here are five thoughts rolling around my head:
1. I've had surgery multiple times, it's awful every single time. Painkillers are my new best friend and rehab sounds like a luxury vacation. The downside of painkillers is that it makes me feel like I have a brain cloud. I can't think straight and I've had a good time reading through my texts that I sent those first few days. Here is my blanket apology for everything I said, "I'm sorry for the things I said while on painkillers." You know the pain is bad when you decide that pants are "too heavy" and you just step out of your pants and leave them all over the house. Also, this is the worst puzzle to do while on painkillers. It's holographic and it made me so mad, I cried and tried to throw it away. I think maybe I was projecting my frustration on the puzzle a little bit.
3. I tend to be an overachiever in multiple areas of my life. So when the Neurosurgeon gives you a timeline for recovery, I figured that I'd be able to a super star and recover about the half the time. Turns out I'm just average at healing and healing right on the doctor's timeline.
4. Right after I woke up from surgery, I was convinced that I was in an airport. No one could convince me otherwise. I was so mad at myself for having brain surgery at an airport kiosk and kept thinking, "The guy over there is selling Chips and Soda. I really should be more responsible and make better choices. No one should have surgery in an airport, responsible people have surgery in a hospital."
Watch this four minute TED talk, that pretty much sums up how I feel.
Thank you everyone for the well wishes.