A time capsule 4/4/20

Today April 4th, 2020, we enter the 20th day of Quarantine.  Twenty days without hugging our friends or attending school.   Twenty days without our kids hanging out with friends. 

I stood in line outside Target to wait to go in the store, wearing a mask and gloves.  I thought I had selected the curbside delivery, turns out I didn't, I would have to go into the store to grab it from the pick up desk.  Only so many people are allowed in the store at ones time.  I went in and got our things prebagged, anxious to get back outside.  The store, although cleaner than ever felt icky.  Everything feels germy and my germaphobe tendacies are in hyperdrive. 

Back in the car, I loaded in the groceries.   Removed my gloves, threw them in a trash can in my car, sanitized my hands, finally removed the suffocating mask, and took a Clorox wipe to the door handle of the car and my wallet and the outside of my purse.   The parking lot is littered with used rubber gloves. 

At home, I run on the underused treadmill.  Running for ten minutes gives me about an hour of clarity and focus upon which I could work.    My brain is full of swirling thoughts but mostly, "Am I doing enough to keep my family safe?"  and "How can I make this better for my teens?"   

My work as an accountant has exploded as small businesses scramble for loans and stimulus loans to help keep them afloat.  I'm worried about them and work hard to get the information they need, simultaneously feeling guilty for ignoring my children or pleading to them to please just leave me alone.   AK especially demands my attention often, her life has changed the most.  Mr. Boy still has homeschool and Mr. Man has been working from home for more than a year.  

I don't feel like I have more time...  however we have played more games and watched more family movies than we ever have.   Having family dinner together every night is a bonus and I treasure it.  

We have a menu of meals to pick from that we have all the ingredients for, because I dread a trip to the grocery store.   Everyone gets a vote on Sunday for a meal and I realize I have changed forever how I will grocery shop.  I was being wildly inefficient before. 

Our life is divided into parts.... the Before... before the schools closed.  Before the grocery stores had limited stock.  Before when we could see plays. 

I fully acknowledge there is a mourning  taking place right now... the Present.  We mourn the full calendar with Baseball, Ballet, and fun social outings.  Dodger and Hamilton tickets that will be unused.   I worry a lot, but less today than the first two weeks.  I did not sleep the first week and stared at the ceiling feeling inadequate to live through this "unprecedented time".   I am not old enough in my mind to be the responsible adult who will help navigate my family through this.  The odd cure for my insomnia... is a show called "The Tiger King" where there are not enough t-shirts, limbs, or teeth to go around the characters of this real life show.    Here in the present, there is SO much good.  People helping people.  People and companies sewing face masks. People shopping for other people.  CEOs foregoing their salary. 

I'm looking forward to the After... I took so much for granted.  I don't know what the after looks like, do we wear mask every time we are out?   I can't wait to host a party.  I can't wait to sit in a restaurant and browse a store.  There are things I started now during the present I won't change.  Cloth Napkins at dinner will stay, I was saving them for a fancy occasion, but I love using them daily.  I won't grocery shop 3 times a week.  Once a week or once every two weeks is fine as long as you are organized.  There is so much food waste when you don't plan.  Clean windows make the house feel better, even though it's a job I loathe it's been a mood booster.  We pay a lot of money to live in LA especially with the hills behind us.   Hiking behind my house has been my saving grace and I'll continue to do so during the after.   I'll see you all again in the after.   

The Sudden Homeschooler

With schools closing everywhere due to Covid-19 (Coronavirus) many of us might find ourselves homeschooling or virtual schooling.  I found myself a sudden homeschool mom three years ago.  Is it the path I would have chosen?  Nope, but here we are and we have made the best of it. 

My kids are older, 14 and 16, but we have been Mom-schooling every summer since they were in pre-school.  

Here are my best tips:

-Some families thrive on schedules, some thrive on a checklist, and some thrive on more of a loose “block type” schedule.  (Mornings are school, afternoons for play.)  Know your kids and do what works for you.  My kids work best with a checklist they have to complete before they can have screen time.

-Workbooks are great, but kids learn by playing too.   Legos build fine motor skills and spatial awareness.  Minecraft is teaching geometry and budgeting.   Don’t stress if your kids are playing, they are developing their brains.

-Boredom stimulates creative centers in the brain.  So, if they get bored it’s stimulating their brain!

-Physical exercise and fresh air makes everyone happier.   The best cure for the witching hour has been playing outside.   My kids loved scavenger hunt walks, I’ll give them a clipboard and they have to find a flower/plant that is every color of the rainbow.   Or look for different types of cars.  

-Cooking together teaches math. However, most nights I’m panicked making dinner in a rush, so I don’t have time to let them help.   I’ve made little Tupperware containers with army guys hidden in flour for them to play in on a cookie sheet.   Or given them a tray of salt or flour for them to draw in.   Yep, it makes a mess, but the vacuum cleans it all up.

-Leave out a long term craft or a puzzle.   During the summer we have a weekly craft theme.  We have used the back of wrapping paper to make a huge mural.  We have a week of watercolors, or paint by number.   We have had clay and even play doh (not my favorite, but they loved it).   We paint rocks or on a sunny day, paint with water on the sidewalks.  My kids will tell you their favorite was painting our own tattoos via watercolors. 

-Reading aloud is good for everyone.  I still read aloud to my kids.  They will say they hate it, but they talk about the books that we have read aloud and will suggest reading another chapter.   “I wonder what happens in the next chapter.”  We have loved reading The Wind in the Willows, The One and Only Ivan, Farmer Boy,  Henry and Beezus, & Harry Potter.   I usually just pick up a book and start reading a chapter outloud after dinner and usually they end up lounging around and listening. 

At the end of the day if all you did was make sure your kids didn’t kill each other and they watched hours of Netflix, no worries, you are doing a great job.  I stressed out so much those first few months of homeschooling only to realize, kids are always learning, and learning opportunities present themselves all the time.   If you are only virtual schooling or homeschooling a few months, chances are these few months aren’t going to what determines if they go to Harvard or not, so just lean into it and enjoy it.   Time is fleeting and tomorrow is never promised, so enjoy today.  

Cheaters never prosper, or so they say

It's no secret, we are Dodger Fans.  We are raising the third generation of Dodger fans in our house and I practically sold a kidney to pay for Dodger World Series tickets for my husband and son to attend the World Series games.   However, I'm not a baseball fanatic, I rarely sit and watch an entire game, but my 16 year old son is an avid fan.  He is outraged over the cheating scandal and while I'm shuttling him to the ballfield and to school this is a topic of conversation that has dominated our time together. 

I'm mad too and when he said, "The worst part is there is nothing I can do. The Astros cheated and they are still winners."  I knew I had to show him, you can always do something about it. When there is an injustice, we can take action and make our voice heard.

So here is my letter that I sent to the Commissioner of the MLB. (Major League Baseball)   

Rob Manfred

The Office of the Commissioner of Baseball                                                         
1271 Avenue of the Americas
New York, NY, 10020

Mr. Manfred,

As I sit here on the uncomfortable bleachers at the Little League Ballfield and watch the next generation of MLB players and fans practice the game they love, I can’t help but feel like somehow, we have lost our way.   We need to chat, not as MLB fan to MLB commissioner, but parent to parent. 

I’m sure you remember what it was like raising your four children.  Shuttling them from their various activities, sitting through games and recitals.  Most of our kids don’t end up being professional ballerinas, piano players, or even baseball players.  We pay the fees, spend our free time on the sidelines, drive them around, and then drive them some more.   But why?   If they aren’t going to end up doing it for a living, why do we do it? 

We do it to teach our kids discipline, hard work, and to put forth a good effort.  They are learning to manage their time, to follow the rules, that practice makes a difference, and most important that cheaters never prosper.  

These kids here on today’s ballfield, they are watching you, watching the MLB teams, and learning a big lesson.  Cheating is worth it. 

They are watching the Houston Astros issue an apology with no sacrifice behind it.  The Astros cheated, they admit it, but they still hold the World Series title.  They still have their rings and the World Series Flag still flies at Minute Maid Park.  They received their bonuses and cashed those checks.   Jose Altuve still holds the MVP title and has admitted cheating.  The message the MLB sent was loud and clear, “Cheaters Win.” You can cheat to win the World Series and the MLB will give your team a fine and take away your draft picks.  Don’t worry, you’ll still retain the title of winner.  You can cheat, but you are still a winner.

I’m feeling a little defeated as a parent.  I’m spending hours of my life trying to raise a baseball player who is skilled and talented so he can live his MLB dream.  With the recent events, I’m not sure it’s worth it.  The cheaters are just going to be the ones who win.  

I hope as you sit in your office you can remember that there are millions of kids out there playing baseball in the US, many of them who have MLB dreams.   They are watching you, watching this scandal unfold and learning from it.  The choices you make are impacting not just the league but the next generation.   I think our kids deserve to play in a society where cheaters never prosper, and I think you want the same for your kids and your family’s future generations.  You have a real opportunity to send a message that cheaters are not winners and I hope you will take it. 

Sincerely,

Wendy 

Parent of an MLB hopeful