On the occasion of your tenth birthday, I sit to write you a note. I cannot believe you are ten, it seemed like yesterday you were toddler wearing overalls dragging your blanket around. Where does the time go? This is something people would say as I was growing up and I would just nod and say, "Yes, time sure does fly by." I never believed it, but now... I get it. It is a strange phenomenon of seeing you grow up in a blink of an eye.
This year was has been a great year for you. You had a school teacher who loved you and motivated you. She was the answer to many prayers and it is amazing how much a teacher can impact your life. I sent you off to school each day envious of your teacher, who got to spend so much time with you. I missed you and the school year seemed to drag on. It's not a secret, I love summers, and I love hanging out with you and your sister all day long. We swim, we watch shows together about crab fishing, and read books. There isn't the strict school schedule and we can see where the day takes us. I feel like a nag all school year. "Get your soccer gear on, it's time for practice." "Finish your homework." "Put away your Laundry" "Do your chores." I know you think I love "barking orders", but really I am not a fan.
I am so torn with how to handle your persistence. You do not take "No" easily as an answer, and I want to teach you to be persistent, but also to know when to accept the answer that is given. We butt heads a lot and you tell me all the time that I "yell", but it is not so much of a yell other than my firm voice, to let you know it's not negotiable. Your persistence and drive will have payoffs in your career, but I don't know how to balance the household without squashing your persistent nature. There is no instruction book in parenting and that is probably the most challenging thing about having a family. Each kid is unique and there isn't a manual that tells you how to do things. I am sometimes just guessing at what the right thing is to do. You are my first born and I'm bound to make mistakes, I just pray that they aren't mistakes that break your spirit.
This past year you have been angry at your Grandfather for moving across the country with his new wife. It has been hard and I know you have felt cheated. Nana and Grandpa came to visit almost every week of your life, and after Nana died, Grandpa came even more often than that. It has been hard for you to know how to process your feelings and you refused to talk to him for most of the year. It has been your first time really learning how to forgive and move forward. It's been a tough lesson to learn, but trust me, it's better to learn to forgive and move forward than to hold a grudge and constantly be stuck.