Dearest AK

Dear Sweet AK,
On the occasion of your 5th birthday, I sit to write you a note to tell you how proud I am of you. Last night, I sat in your room and told you all about the day you were born. I remember vividly the exact moment your birthmother placed your teeny tiny body in my arms. My heart grew twice as big in one instant and I felt like the missing person in my life had just been found. As I stared at your tiny sleeping face, I silently pleaded the most earnest prayer, "Please God, Please let her be mine forever. Please God. Whatever it takes, please, PLEASE let me bring her home." And we did whatever it took to bring you home, which meant months of daily doctor visits and mountains of paperwork. AK, it was worth it, worth every single minute. You have a sweet personality and give hugs freely to anyone who needs it. A few weeks ago at church, one of your friends was crying in the pew in front of us. You saw her tears and climbed right over the bench to give her a hug. There was no need to wait until after church, she needed a hug now, and you were willing to give her comfort right at that moment.
Each and every night as I tuck you into bed, we trade dreams. I'll make up a dream for you to have and stick in your heart, and you do the same for me. It's a tradition that I made up one night after you woke up from a bad dream. Your dreams always involve a princess of some sort, and quite often a dinosaur. It is a nightly tradition that I love, and I swear I have the exact dream you meant for me to have. This year has been the year where you "toughened up" a bit. Previously, I was telling your brother to stop pestering you. Something clicked this year and now I'm telling you to "Keep your hands off your brother. Stop pinching him." As someone who grew up with two brothers who teased and tormented me, I will tell you a secret about older brothers. They are annoying, very annoying. However, you will grow up to be strong and tough. You will learn when not to back down, and be able to hold your own in any situation. Having big brothers teaches you to be fearless. Also, let me tell you something about brothers, they are always in your corner. I was reminded of this during the past weekend as I spent time with my brothers. I learned so much from my brothers, and they taught me to be the strong independent woman I am today. Mr. Boy loves you, and constantly watches out for you, just like my brothers did. Your brother would walk to the ends of the earth for you, you are lucky to have him for a brother. You are a great story teller and love to tell us stories each day. They often start out as, "Once upon a time there was an old princess who lived in a castle." We love to hear your stories, they are adventure filled with princesses, knights, dragons, blood, and evil lurking in every corner. You have learned to read an audience and love to invoke emotion. This has been a wonderful talent, but created some awkward situations. You love to tell people stories that aren't true to get a reaction. You told your preschool teachers this year a convincing story about how your dad died in a fiery car crash. You had all three of your teachers completely duped, until I arrived to pick you up and set the record straight. Recently, you told a lady in a public restroom all about how you had a younger brother who died on Christmas Day. You went on and on about how you missed him terribly. I cowered in the stall not wanting to come out, but the nice lady waited until she could offer condolences to me face to face. AK my absolute favorite activity is listening to you play. You will sit for an hour acting out a story with whatever toys are handy. You have an incredible imagination and often times you will re-enact the previous days activities but with a lot more drama.
This year you will go to Kindergarten, and your dad and I are unsure if it's the right thing. What we do know... is that you are happiest when you are in a social setting, and that you are easy going. If we end up repeating, you will be happy to go with the flow. For this we are grateful. Being a parent is hard, you never really know what the right answer is, but you try your best. Which is really how life goes, whether your a child or an adult. Just try your best and carry on.
AK you have a charmed life right now. You have your dad wrapped around your little finger and your biggest concern is the whereabouts of your pink cowboy boots. You are so carefree and confident that I wish I could bottle this up and give it back to you in small doses later on in life. Every problem in your life right now is easily solved either with a snack or a hug, you are so lucky. If only I could shield you from the rest of the world forever, so that you never worry what others think. If only you could believe forever that the definition of beautiful is wearing pink from head to toe forever and not get caught up in today's vanity.

AK you are fearless. With your easy going personality it makes for many fun outings. I know that you are not going to pass up an opportunity, because you are willing to jump in to whatever situation we place in front of you. It is contagious and your ability to embrace life and live it to it's fullest has rubbed off on me and your dad.

If I could pick one word to describe you it would be Joyful. You spread joy wherever you go and that is why I love being your mom. On this birthday I wish I could freeze time for just a little bit longer, I'm just not ready for you to grow up yet. I'll get there... just be patient with me and do your best!
With Love,
Mama