Today my very favorite faux sister Mary will be posting today's nutty family tidbit. Mary and I met years ago and quickly realized we had freakish similar experiences and would think the exact same thing. We joke that we share the same brain, so if I ever appear to be a bit unintelligent, it's because Mary is using the brain that day.
TOP TEN SIGNS YOU GREW UP IN A DYSFUNCTIONAL HOME
1. When you mention your mother in passing one day, your five year old laughs in astonishment and says, “You don’t have a mom!”.
2. Your happiest childhood memories are from sibling Pig Out Parties
(everyone pools their cash, goes to the store and buys $50 of ice cream,
donuts, chips, and candy. Then sits in a bedroom and eats until they
yearn for death. Literally, we would it eat ALL in one sitting.).
3. Your mom tells you that God thinks pants that zipper in the front
are evil and you are forbidden to wear them. Only elastic waisted
polyester slacks are worthy of the Celestial Kingdom. You are saddened
that your high school-aged sisters will probably go to hell because they
wear Levi’s shrink-to-fit jeans.
4. You have one entire wall in your family room filled with nothing
but pictures of Jesus. Probably at least 50 pictures, arranged in
chronological order from Bethlehem to the resurrection. Some are trimmed
with lace, for some reason.
5. Your favorite memory of your father is when he rage-crushed a
plastic water gun under his bare foot and then limped away while
pretending that his foot didn’t hurt real, real bad.
To read the rest of the list visit Mary at Quite Contrary