Monday, July 07, 2014

DIY Crime Scene

9:22 PM:  Kids all tucked in bed, Mr. Man is out for the evening, and I wandered into the bathroom to pick up the wet swimsuits off the floor.   Catch reflection in mirror and notice a plethora of grey hairs have made themselves at home on my head.  Root around in cabinet and find old bottle of hair dye, decide to dye hair on a whim.

9:26PM:  Marvel at how efficient I am being as I start to dye hair.   Will paint toes while dye sets on hair and in less than 30 minutes I will emerge a fresher version of myself.

9:29PM: Hear a sickening crack as I squeeze bottle of hair dye on the remaining 2/3rds of my hair.  The bottle shatters into a million pieces while reddish brown hair dye splatters all over bathroom.   Frantically started cleaning the dye off the walls, cabinets, tile, mirror, and the ceiling.  

 10:29PM: No such luck, cabinets and walls are stained with what looks like dried blood.  It is taking forever to wipe everything down.

10:35 PM:  Mr. Man strolls into bathroom to find his wife wearing a bathrobe with what appears to be a large bloodstain on the chest and dried blood all over the walls.   Spend next five minutes convincing Mr. Man I have not been stabbed or shot. 

10:40 PM:  Realize hair dye has been on 1/3 of my head for one hour longer than intended... scream... and start rinsing hair dye out.   Watch in horror as gobs of hair fall off my head and go down drain.

10:50 PM: Emerge from bathroom with bald patch, color blocked hair, and zero dignity left.  Crack open pint of Ben and Jerry's.  Buy several new hats on internet, vow to never dye hair again on my own and put "repaint bathroom" on weekend to do list. 

11:15 PM: Start to reminisce about other beauty mishaps and laugh hysterically as I remember the time I waxed off one eyebrow just before starting my first job out of college and having to draw on a brow every morning.  Then one day during a meeting I accidentally wiped off my brow and went around half a day with only one eyebrow.  I didn't notice it until I got in the car to drive home.  Surely, I'm not the only one who has had a beauty mishap? Tell me yours! 


Laura Pratt said...

Ah, I remember the one-eyebrow incident. We've all had eyebrow incidents, no?

Laura Pratt said...

Also, I believe this post is worth nothing without pictures!