St. Valentine's Day - Junior High School Edition

Happy Valentine's Day!  This is not my favorite holiday, but I have learned to embrace it by sharing my Valentine's Day humiliating stories.  You can read my other Valentines failures here.

In Jr. High, I was in love with a boy named Jamie.   My best friend and I spent hours walking in front of his house in hopes to catch a glimpse of him.  I dreamed about him and knew that if things didn't work out with Bret Michaels from the hair band Poison, that I would marry Jamie and live happily ever after.

For a school fundraiser you could send a rose and a special valentine to anyone for a couple of bucks.   I decided that it was time to make my move and let Jamie know I was interested in him. Even better my BFF had class with Jamie at the same time that the roses would be delivered.  She could be my eyes and ears and let me know his reaction, this was perfect, no... it was destiny!

I carefully wrote out my Valentine and anxiously anticipated what Valentine's Day would bring me.  According to my BFF,  Jamie received  26 roses from admirers, apparently I wasn't the only one in love with him.   As fate would have it, my card was the first that he opened.  He read my card out loud to his friend, "Happy Valentine's Day!  I like you, as more than just friends. Love, Wendy Larter" 

He looked at his friend with a puzzled look on his face and said, "Wendy Larter?  Who's that?"

Then his friend chuckled, "Wendy Larter?  Larter Farter!"  Jamie and his friend burst out in laughter and made spontaneous fart noises while high fiving each other for their poetic brillance.

At that moment I vowed to hate my parents forever for having a last name that rhymes with Farter.  Tell me I'm not the only one who had a hopeless crush who never knew you existed, until they figured out that your last name rhymes with a bodily function.

Valentine's Days of days gone by.

I don't know exactly what event it was that turned me off to Valentine's Day, or  if it was just a jumble of unfortunate events that made me come to loathe the day.   By the time I met Mr. Man, I had decided to pretend the holiday doesn't exist.   Every day should be like Valentine's Day full of romance and gratitude and it is.... that Mr. Man of mine treats me well. 

Mr. Man proposing, it really has nothing to do with this post other than it is romantic.

Then we had children, and Valentine's Day took on a new meaning.   We always have a special family dinner, and this year will be no different.  It's a nice time to have dinner where we pause and tell each other things we like about each other.  After spending the weekend with the YaYa's and hearing about their older kids having their own social schedules, I am savoring this time where my kids are home a lot.  Over the past few years, I have made my peace with Valentine's Day and no longer loathe it.   It's a great family holiday in our house. 

I've talked about Valentine's of years past. I have pretty fond memories of "Fork Lift Guy" in all his awkward glory and my date with "Hugh Grant"  was perfection except for my hasty rude exit.

I always felt like an odd duck in high school, later on, I learned that almost everyone felt the same way I did growing up. I was anxious to grow up and move out on my own. I was the only child at home, my parents were going through a rough patch, and I was struggling to find my place in the world.

 At the age of 16, I got a job at a gift basket company.   My boss was young and empowered and she treated me like her equal.   She taught me a lot about small businesses and she influenced a lot of the career decisions I have made so far.  I'm incredibly grateful for her wisdom and for all that she taught me.    

The only drawback to my job was Valentine's Day.   Lots of people send gift baskets for Valentine's Day, especially women.   For some reason, women think men want a teddy bear gift basket or a beers of the world gift basket sent to their office, and maybe they do....  but according to the phone calls we received and the reactions the delivery people received, it doesn't sound like they liked it.  Most of the male recipients didn't like the attention.  Did I mention we offered a singing telegram add-on or you could have your basket delivered by someone in a cupid costume?  My boss and I spent the day fielding phone calls and keeping customers happy.  (I skipped school that day to work instead.. where were my parents?)

At the end of the day  the extra beers of the world basket would be cut open and everyone would collapse and giggle about the most ridiculous orders.  "Please make sure the card says, Dear Schmoopykins, You are loviest, wuviest, teddy bear.  Love, Twinklestars"  (That one was actually addressed to my high school PE teacher, ordered by his girlfriend.)

One Valentine's Day, as I left work at the gift basket company,   I walked outside to find one of the vendors we worked with, waiting for me.   We had been on one or two dates before and he was a nice guy, but a few years older than me.   He held up a picnic basket and asked if I might like to join him on a picnic. We sat on the beach that night and talked about our crazy day and laughed at the ridiculous requests.  I don't really remember if it was particularly romantic, but what I do remember is looking at the ocean and feeling like I was on the right path.  I may not have felt like I fit in at school or at home, but I was okay.   I had found my way and my little job was helping me sort out who I was and what I wanted to do with my life.

For today, I'm grateful that I don't work in a business where I have to write out, "Dear Honeykins..."  I am grateful that today, I have a lot more inner peace than I did in high school and I'm proud of the path my life has taken.  I'm grateful for those little moments I have had over the years that have given me the reassurance that I'm on the right path and doing the right thing.

Happy Valentines Day

I am not a fan of Valentines Day... all that pressure to put out some forced sign of affection, it's not my thing. I don't want to get flowers at the office and have people gush or be jealous... I don't want to go out to dinner to some place to share a big heartshaped bowl of spaghetti a la Lady & The Tramp for $156... I'd rather spend some time at home, watching a movie or something. Although, now that these kiddos have come into my life... Valentines Day takes on a whole new meaning. I'm trying to teach these guys to be grateful, to give service, to be kind and totally abusing Valentine's Day as an excuse to have them serve. We've been prepping for a big Valentine's Day dinner for the family + Grandma.

We made decorations all throughout the week, shopped for the ingredients together, and today we prepped some stuff for the meal. The kids love it, and they are totally excited for the fancy dinner.

This whole project has reminded me that Valentines Day is not about the flowers, the chocolates, the romance or the commercial aspect, it's about appreciating the ones you love. The kids have embraced this more than anyone and it's a bit contagious.

And because we all love a good flashback:

Valentines Day 1995 - Provo, UT (aka the frigid vortex of hyper-happy people)

Current Beau: Hugh Grant (named changed to protect his identity)

I met Hugh at a punk concert of a local band. I had recently had one of those epiphanies that I was destined for greatness, SOLO greatness. Being social (and young and dumb, but that should be implied), decided best path for greatness was to find some guy who was looking for a casual relationship.

Enter Hugh Grant... he was 10 years older than I, British, Rock Star Wannabe-working at a nightclub as a maintenance man to pay the bills, British, Lovely, British, Fun, Never wanted to leave Provo, and British. He was not my type except for the British part... I could listen to him talk all day and night. However, I love ambitious people, not people who think there best path to Rock Star Greatness was playing a small club in Provo, Utah. However, he was fun and so lovely and perfect for something super casual. After having been burned on Valentines past (oh hello broken heart, you're still hanging on to wounds from 7th grade? get over it already!) I was cautious about even going out with an actual real boy on a Valentines date.

However, Hugh was shockingly charming, must have been his British Genes. He asked me to go to a Punk Show at the Nightclub he worked at. He arrived with a rose in his teeth and we then danced the tango in the living room of my apartment. He dipped me low to the ground, and slid a flower in my hair. He was that smooth people, loved that about him. We went to the club, where we got VIP treatment. He took me up to the DJ booth, where the DJ let me "spin some tunes" before the show. (Ok, it was really just one.. but it was still awesome. I "spun" Connected by Stereo MC) He took me to the VIP lounge and even told me in a lovely sexy whisper... "If the loo is out of toilet paper, let me know I have the keys to get more." It made me chuckle, still does to this day, because he took a lot of pride in his work and he was just so caring.

After watching this not-so-famous band, who later became semi-famous, play, Hugh had arranged for dessert in a private lounge for us. We hung out and talked for hours, and then one of the band members from the not-so-famous band came up to say hello. He sang for us, and then invited us to join him, the band, and Hugh's bandmates for Breakfast at the local greasy spoon.

At breakfast, one of the bandmates told me that Hugh was "head over heels" for me... And that is where I saw my plans for SOLO greatness coming to a crashing halt. Hugh was supposed to be for "good times only" and my plan was not working out. Little did I know...I was NOT destined for SOLO greatness anyway.

Remember how I was young and dumb... The evening/ morning ended with me sufficiently spooked, and running from Hugh's car to my apartment, yelling, "Thank you, it was lovely!" over my shoulder. I might as well have given him a high five or a handshake to end the evening. Not the best way to end a carefully planned out romantic date. I didn't even write a thank you note, which I'm sure would mortify my mother. I've ALWAYS felt bad about my hasty exit, so Hugh Grant.. if you are out there... I'm so sorry. It was such a fantastic & FABULOUS evening, and such good memories!! Thank You.

Here's a link to Fork Lift Guy from last years Valentine's Flashback, for those that love awkward stories.

My Favorite Valentines Day...

Some will say... I'm bitter. Some will say... I'm wise. Either way, it doesn't change the fact I don't like Valentines Day. I'm not a big fan of forced affection, or tokens of love that are done out of obligation. And in Jr. High, and High School Valentines day was awful... a reminder of the fact that I was the object of no-ones affection.

Mr. Man has gotten me flowers the last three Valentines Days more because he knows it annoys me, and I think he finds that funny. Or it might be...I'm getting more moody in my old age and he has no idea what I'm thinking, so he might be covering his bases to avoid my wrath.

Anywho, this brings me to my favorite Valentines Day of all time. This is my friend TK, we met when I worked for Deloitte . We were at a client in a small town.They were a lumber yard, and we worked in a conference room that overlooked the warehouse. It was a man's workplace. Lots of men, lots of fart jokes, and lots of cavemen-like behavior. I have brothers, so does TK, so we were unphased.


It was in the small conference room in the middle of a small town, that I knew I got to know TK, and realize that I wanted to be her friend until the end of time. She cracked me up, and we talked, swapped stories and got our work done. She is a riot, so smart, and one of the nicest people you will ever meet.

There was one guy at this lumber yard, who probably didn't get out much. He drove a forklift and every time I came down the stairs from the confrerence room he was right there, and usually escorted me to wherever I was going. Most of the time he didn't get off his forklift, so it was him... driving along side of me, awkwardly trying to go at my pace.

He always asked me one question and would stumble trying to think of a follow up. Our conversations went like this.

FLG: (short for Forklift Guy) "Oh hi. Uh. Um. Do you like dogs or cats?"
Moi: Hmm.. Both
FLG: Oh wow! Me too! uh....
*awkward silence
FLG: I can't have a dog, my landlord won't let me.
Moi: That's too bad.

Then I'd reach the office and go in to get make a copy or something. He'd be there when I got back.

So Valentine's Day, arrives, and TK & I are still together, working away at the lumberyard. I descend from the conference room and FLG is about 800 yards away. He sees me, starts gunning the Forklift as fast as it can go to try and catch up to me. He finally catches up to me and acts like he wasn't racing over to come and talk to me. He tries to act like Mr. Casual... and fails miserably.

FLG: So, it's Valentines Day....
Moi: Yes, it is. Happy Valentines Day.

*akward silence*

Moi: Well, I gotta go speak to JimBobJoe, so I'll catch up with you later
FLG: Yeah, I'll be right here.


Oh, FLG was so sweet, and so awkward. He made me laugh, it was nice to be doted on. No one likes the nerdy accountant girls, especially when you are there to audit their company. Anyway.... my favorite Valentines Day was hanging out with one of my favorite people TK and being doted on by a guy who never got off his forklift. I'm simple like that.