Friday, February 14, 2014

St. Valentine's Day - Junior High School Edition

Happy Valentine's Day!  This is not my favorite holiday, but I have learned to embrace it by sharing my Valentine's Day humiliating stories.  You can read my other Valentines failures here.

In Jr. High, I was in love with a boy named Jamie.   My best friend and I spent hours walking in front of his house in hopes to catch a glimpse of him.  I dreamed about him and knew that if things didn't work out with Bret Michaels from the hair band Poison, that I would marry Jamie and live happily ever after.
For a school fundraiser you could send a rose and a special valentine to anyone for a couple of bucks.   I decided that it was time to make my move and let Jamie know I was interested in him. Even better my BFF had class with Jamie at the same time that the roses would be delivered.  She could be my eyes and ears and let me know his reaction, this was perfect, no... it was destiny!

I carefully wrote out my Valentine and anxiously anticipated what Valentine's Day would bring me.  According to my BFF,  Jamie received  26 roses from admirers, apparently I wasn't the only one in love with him.   As fate would have it, my card was the first that he opened.  He read my card out loud to his friend, "Happy Valentine's Day!  I like you, as more than just friends. Love, Wendy Larter" 

He looked at his friend with a puzzled look on his face and said, "Wendy Larter?  Who's that?"

Then his friend chuckled, "Wendy Larter?  Larter Farter!"  Jamie and his friend burst out in laughter and made spontaneous fart noises while high fiving each other for their poetic brillance.

At that moment I vowed to hate my parents forever for having a last name that rhymes with Farter.  Tell me I'm not the only one who had a hopeless crush who never knew you existed, until they figured out that your last name rhymes with a bodily function.

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