I'm super excited about my new BFF, we talk everyday and she always wants to see me "right away!" I'm of course referring to the school nurse who has been in touch with me daily for the last week. At first it was asthma for Mr. Boy, then AK had the stomach flu, Mr. Boy had a headache, AK fell and hit her head, and it goes on an on. The school nurse is lovely, but the guilty mom voice in my head feels like she is calling to tell me, "Mademoiselle, you are not winning the Mother of the Year contest. Didn't you hear that whisper of a wheeze in his chest this morning?"
This bout of illness is riding on the coattails of one of those ill fated weeks when everything that can go wrong will. On the way home from the dentist (two cavities!), a rock shattered my car windshield. I got a flat tire on the way home from a doctor's appointment. The water heater quit working, the washing machine started to leak and I sneezed so hard I split my head open on the corner of a chair.
I've had terrible judgement over the last week in deciding who is sick and who is well. In the mornings, I have about 45 minutes to assess if they are well. Most of the time, they are groggy and grumpy, so who knows how they are feeling. After AK had been able to keep food down for 48 hours I thought she was more than safe to go to school. I was wrong as she had an unfortunate incident that "surprised her pants" during afternoon recess. Poor girl, that is a very BAD day.
Then yesterday, Mr. Boy was complaining of a stomachache, but I was pretty sure he was faking it. He has faked a lot of stomachaches and asthma attacks over the last few years. I sent him to school and told him he would be fine. On my way home from taking AK to the doc for a spider bite on her eyelid, I got a phone call that Mr. Boy threw up just outside of the classroom. When I got there, they had set up cones around Mr. Boy and the mess. Since school had let out, the yard supervisors were directing traffic around him. Mr. Boy was mortified and was furious that I hadn't believed him and I don't blame him one bit. He is going to hold that over my head for a long time. After I got everyone situated in their own "sick bed" on the couch, I sat down and noticed my button down shirt was on inside out and had been the entire day. Some days, you just can't win, and you can't do anything but laugh. Mr. Boy isn't going to be nominating me for Mother of the Year this year, and I won't be in any magazine talking about my incredibly edgy style wearing shirts inside out.
The only good thing that has come out of this week is this. I'm still not entirely sure what this picture is, but it's in a cartoon the kids were watching and it makes me laugh every time I see it. I'm not sure why the tiger always has a rainbow coming out of his bum. I'm totally sticking this picture on my phone as the picture that comes up every time my new BFF, the school nurse, calls me. At least I'll be smiling when she tells me that I once again I am not going to win the title of Mother of the Year.