I've never been graceful, I'm pretty sure my brother hogged all those genes along with the dimples. So a week ago I found myself tripping over my own two feet and falling face first down our back porch stairs. I was getting ready to head into the office and had that moment where I thought "Oh no! Do I land on my laptop or my face? Wait, I haven't backed up this week!" I chose face, which was the wrong choice in retrospect. I hurt my shoulder and my shattered my phone.
My priorities got a little screwed up and I put saving objects before saving myself. Can you see why I need "The Year of You, The year of Me"? I actually made an appointment to get a new phone before I made an appointment to get my shoulder checked out. I actually looked at my dangling arm and said, "That's not so bad. Holy crap, what am I going to do about my phone!"
Everything happened really fast, another shot and there are people that are holding me tight and in position as the doc slides my arm back into place. I let out a scream that can only be described as primal and the pain was blinding. Everything went white for a second.
As soon as I caught my breath I started telling the nurses, "You guys are fools, complete fools for having children. That was STUPID painful and if you said this pain was like labor, I don't really understand why you would do that to yourself. Oh my goodness, don't ever get pregnant. I mean it, that was crazy painful."
I remember saying those things and having the thought, "Wendy, please stop talking. Really, stop talking. It's time to be quiet." I'm pretty mortified that I said that and texted every pregnant friend I know. "You might want to think twice about Labor. It's crazy painful and I'm pretty sure it's a bad idea."
Obviously, the lesson we learned here is 1. Do not use your face or body to break a fall. 2. I get very, very opinionated and chatty on pain medication.