Tuesday, September 03, 2013

I never thought...

Dear Kids,
I never thought I'd be one of those moms.  The ones who cry when they drop their kids off to school.  I never thought I would get choked up walking them into their classrooms or look at their teachers with envy.
Our Ultimate Super Mega Summer Part 3 came to a close and the school year started.   One of our best summers ever, we lounged, we laughed, and we went on adventures.
Mr. Boy, you could not wait for your fifth grade year for the chance to "rule the school".   You prepped the whole week before school contemplating your outfit and getting your binder ready.  You are a social guy and want to be with your friends.  You were stoked to find your class was filled with friends.  The night before your first day, I slept in your room, by request, a slumber party of sorts, you woke up at 4am, excited to go to school.   Instead of sleeping you talked and would not stop talking.  You talked about all the exciting things that would happen this year.  You are in 5th grade and excited to be the kings of the school. This is going to be an amazing year for you. 
Sweet AK, as I leaned in to kiss you goodbye, I had a momentary flashback to when you were a tiny baby and I swear we spent most of that first year in doctor's offices.  You have overcome so much and it's nothing short of miraculous that you are in second grade.  You were excited but nervous to go to school.  You will have the same teacher and class as last year for part of the day, this is reassuring to you, as you crave routine.  You are going to have a great year at school and this will be the year that you master reading.  Your whole world is about to open up. I hope you hear my voice in your head as you go about your school day telling you, "AK, you can do this."
The tears kept welling up as I walked through the school halls with you.  I held it together until I got out of the classroom.  My sunglasses hid the eyes brimming with tears.  Once on the playground I cried openly, for many reasons.  Mainly because I miss you already and I love summer.   I love the freedom from the unyielding calendar of activities and the ticking clock.  I miss being carefree and not having to be so rigid on our schedule.  I miss the spontaneity that the summer allows.  
The beginning of school marks another year older, another new adventure and calls attention to the glaring fact, you guys are growing up. My time with you is limited and I keep hearing, "Only eight more years left with Mr. Boy exclusively under our roof."    I never thought I would be one of those moms that dreaded the first day of school, that craved having their kids at home.  When I had children, I completely underestimated how much they would change me and the kind of mom I would become.  To my darling children, be good, be nice, and know that I love you. 

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