Monday, November 30, 2009

Flu Shots aka WWF Smackdown

Normally, we aren't the flu shot type. This year with the H1N1 virus and complications with Mr. Boy's asthma, our very conservative doc said, "Shots for everyone!" The kids do not love shots, in fact they are terrified of them. If I want them to stop doing something I tell them, "You are going to get hurt and have to get a shot if you keep doing that." I'm an evil mom, but whatever makes them obey. First round was the regular flu shot. I decided to keep silent and then just surprise them with a visit to the doctor so "Mom can get a shot." That plan backfired quickly, they soon realized we were all getting shots. The kids show off their battle wounds.
They escorted us back to the little triage area behind a flimsy curtain. I plopped both kids on the exam table while they wept, wailed, and thrashed about. I went first and put on my bravest face. Then they did AK, while Mr. Boy watched in terror as they "STABBED MY SISTER WITH THE POINTY THING!" AK starts screaming hysterically. Mr. Boy fearing that he was about to meet certain death by hypodermic needle, went hysterical. He started thrashing around doing the alligator death roll . He is yelling at the top of his lungs, "NO NO NO NO" and a whole group of nurses comes running in.

With 10 people crammed into a little triage area, Mr. Boy decides to make his move. He falls straight out of the curtain and takes off running down the hallway, with three nurses chasing him down. Our very favorite Nurse, Nurse Gloria, is exiting an exam room and sees Mr. Boy streak by, and joins in the chase. She tackles him to the ground and gets a good grip on him. It is mad chaos by now, patients all along the hallways are peeking out the exam room doors to find out what the commotion is.

Nurse Gloria scoops Mr. Boy up, walks him to the exam room holding him in a tight hug, even as he screams bloody murder. She barks "EVERYONE OUT. This is my patient." She whispers in Mr. Boys ear the entire time, "It will pinch for 3 seconds, and then it's done, count with me." Another nurse quickly administers the shot, and Mr. Boy barely had time to count to two.

He looks up at Nurse Gloria and says, "That's it!? It didn't even hurt." I collapse on the ground because I feel as though I have just endured a WWII sized battle over something that "didn't even hurt." Mr. Man who didn't believe this story, got his shot the following Monday. The triage nurse looked at his chart and said, "Oh boy, your family was in on Friday, that was something else I tell ya. I needed a stiff drink and a nap after their visit. I've never had to chase after a patient before." Good times.


Laura said...


One time, my dad went to the dentist in the morning. He accidentally bit the hygenist while she was cleaning his teeth.

I had a dentist appointment that afternoon. I bit her finger while she was taking my x-rays. Clearly the woman did not know to get her hand out of the way in time!

But...I didn't chase her down to bite her, unlike Nathan. Who, I'm sure if he knew biting was an option, would have taken it.

Mary said...

Ha!!! Great story and very well told. I'm glad you got them vaccinated, even if it was a nightmarish experience in the process.