Monday, March 25, 2013

The Yes Project: I face my biggest fear

Part of an ongoing project called, "The Yes Project", where I resolve to say YES more to opportunities that come my way.  Click here to see the other posts.

I found a bunch of draft posts that I had forgotten about because I got distracted with our Super Ultimate Mega Summer.  This event took place last July.   **Warning this post contains snake pictures and violence.**

"Expose yourself to your deepest fear; after that, fear has no power, 
and the fear of freedom shrinks and vanishes. You are free." 
Jim Morrison

I am terrified of snakes, especially rattlesnakes, so much so, that when we were in escrow to buy the Chalet, I woke up in a cold sweat one night screaming, "We can't move!"   I realized that the hillside probably had snakes as residents and there is no way I can live in a house that was "snake adjacent".   Mr. Man knows me, understands my fear, and we had the Juans build a "snake wall" around the perimeter of the property to keep snakes out.

 I have had a few encounters with garter and king snakes hiking in the hills, but snakes don't really like people so we have an understanding to stay out of each others way.   When we got back from a vacation, I was out clearing some brush that had grown behind the back gate.   I pulled out a clump of grass and found a snake under the brush, about 2 inches from my flip flop covered foot.  It was coiled and shaking it's rattle at me. 
Can you see it hiding in there? 
I jumped out of the way and ran into the house through the back door, then out through the front door and down the hill.   Screaming and waving my arms the whole way, and then I got my phone out and dialed Mr. Man, because here is a little confession.   I am the worst person to have in an emergency.  That whole "Fight or Flight" response...  I'm definitely a flight as in, I run and I run far.

Mr. Man is in a meeting but answers and tells me "First of all, just leave it alone and it will scurry away.  Second, Um... where are you? Did you leave the kids alone?"   Oh shoot, I just ran out of the house leaving them alone.   I ran back up to the house and decided I couldn't just go on with my day knowing there was a rattlesnake living so close to our house. I took a peek and the snake was still there sitting on the stone step behind our gate.   

I had that moment, where I knew this was MY moment, to confront my fear and channel my inner warrior woman.   I could conquer this fear and protect my family.  My year of "Yes" was all about facing things that were uncomfortable.   I brought Mr. Boy out and had him stand on the safe side of the snake wall, and gave him my phone and told him to call Dad if anything happened.   Mr. Boy was encouraging, "Mom, you can do this!" and then he started taking a video of the whole thing.  I summoned all my courage and killed the snake, who had remained coiled up.   
I screamed at the top of my lungs, "I am a Warrior Woman."  I was so proud of myself for confronting my fear and I called Mr. Man who put me on speaker phone to tell everyone in his meeting about how I slayed the snake. 
Later that morning, the deer came by and I couldn't help but tell them, "I faced my biggest fear today!  I killed a rattlesnake, I can do anything!" 
Then I  let out a war cry, grabbed onto one of Buckbeak's antlers, hoisted myself onto his back and rode off into the sunset. 

1 comment:

jenny said...

Wendy! i love you hahah this is the greatest "yes" story yet!! hahah so funny and way to go and face your fears!