The Yes Project: I face my biggest fear

Part of an ongoing project called, "The Yes Project", where I resolve to say YES more to opportunities that come my way.  Click here to see the other posts.

I found a bunch of draft posts that I had forgotten about because I got distracted with our Super Ultimate Mega Summer.  This event took place last July.   **Warning this post contains snake pictures and violence.**

"Expose yourself to your deepest fear; after that, fear has no power, 

and the fear of freedom shrinks and vanishes. You are free." 

Jim Morrison

I am terrified of snakes, especially rattlesnakes, so much so, that when we were in escrow to buy the Chalet, I woke up in a cold sweat one night screaming, "We can't move!"   I realized that the hillside probably had snakes as residents and there is no way I can live in a house that was "snake adjacent".   Mr. Man knows me, understands my fear, and we had the Juans build a "snake wall" around the perimeter of the property to keep snakes out.

 I have had a few encounters with garter and king snakes hiking in the hills, but snakes don't really like people so we have an understanding to stay out of each others way.   When we got back from a vacation, I was out clearing some brush that had grown behind the back gate.   I pulled out a clump of grass and found a snake under the brush, about 2 inches from my flip flop covered foot.  It was coiled and shaking it's rattle at me. 

Can you see it hiding in there? 

I jumped out of the way and ran into the house through the back door, then out through the front door and down the hill.   Screaming and waving my arms the whole way, and then I got my phone out and dialed Mr. Man, because here is a little confession.   I am the worst person to have in an emergency.  That whole "Fight or Flight" response...  I'm definitely a flight as in, I run and I run far.

Mr. Man is in a meeting but answers and tells me "First of all, just leave it alone and it will scurry away.  Second, Um... where are you? Did you leave the kids alone?"   Oh shoot, I just ran out of the house leaving them alone.   I ran back up to the house and decided I couldn't just go on with my day knowing there was a rattlesnake living so close to our house. I took a peek and the snake was still there sitting on the stone step behind our gate.   

I had that moment, where I knew this was MY moment, to confront my fear and channel my inner warrior woman.   I could conquer this fear and protect my family.  My year of "Yes" was all about facing things that were uncomfortable.   I brought Mr. Boy out and had him stand on the safe side of the snake wall, and gave him my phone and told him to call Dad if anything happened.   Mr. Boy was encouraging, "Mom, you can do this!" and then he started taking a video of the whole thing.  I summoned all my courage and killed the snake, who had remained coiled up.   

 

I screamed at the top of my lungs, "I am a Warrior Woman."  I was so proud of myself for confronting my fear and I called Mr. Man who put me on speaker phone to tell everyone in his meeting about how I slayed the snake. 

Later that morning, the deer came by and I couldn't help but tell them, "I faced my biggest fear today!  I killed a rattlesnake, I can do anything!" 

Then I  let out a war cry, grabbed onto one of Buckbeak's antlers, hoisted myself onto his back and rode off into the sunset. 

Month in review - January

We visited the Space Shuttle Endeavour which made me feel very patriotic.  I had taken the kids out of school to see  Endeavours final flight as it arrived in California.  

Mr. Boy had repair work on his jaw from the bout of cellulitis he had three years ago.   All in all, my kids are healthy.  As I sat in the waiting room with other parents who had children in surgery for serious medical reasons, I realized it is a blessing I take for granted. 

   

I made my first batch of cheese, which is my cooking project for the year.  It was a lot easier than I thought, and quite tasty. I am dreaming of summers eating fresh mozzarella by the pool with fat homegrown tomatoes.

We did a lot more of this as Mr. Boy is having a fierce battle with asthma this winter. 

The weather turned crazy cold, like high in the low 50's and we cityfolk whined and complained.   The rains came and with a puppy that means playing in mud. I spent most of the month spending some quality time with my mop.

The clouds parted and the sun came out again to warm us up. Zoey tested the pool out to make sure it was still working and soaked up the rays after.  This is quite possibly my favorite picture of Zoey.

 

Flu's of all sorts hit our house in one weeks time.  Miss AK had the stomach flu, which meant she spent plenty of time reading to the dogs on her "floor bed", which is her favorite part of being sick. 

 

Mr. Man was a great sport and we dressed up for Mr. Man's Swanky Company 1920's themed Party.  I think he should try and bring knickers back, what do you think?

 And somewhere in my month was my birthday, which as always is a time for reflection,  where I wonder, "What am I doing with my life?" 

I came up with a new plan in addition to the Yes Project... stay tuned. 

Welcoming a New Year

2012 - The year has been good to us, I welcomed 2012 with enthusiasm and was grateful for the fortune of good health and happiness granted my family. 

I am happy to welcome another year and have decided to continue on with my YES project for 2013. We headed over to Uncle Mikes for the annual family New Year's Eve party to ring in the New Year.

The floats line up by Uncle Mikes house and we get a sneak preview of the Rose Parade the night before. I can't help but think of mom everytime we do this. She grew up in a small town in Iowa and watched the Rose Parade on a black and white TV with icicles hanging outside the window. She loved the Rose Parade and we watched it every New Year's Day as a family. I know she would be envious, yet my children are oblivious to how special this experience is.

The floats were great this year and the the theme was Dr. Seuss's Oh The Places You'll Go.  At the end of the parade of floats there is always a port a potty. We always cheer him on... And the best was when the port a potty parade man called out, "Oh... The places you'll go". That gave us a good chuckle for the rest of the day."

Where does YES take you? Yes makes me a football fan.

Part of an ongoing project called, "The Yes Project", where I resolve to say YES more to opportunities that come my way.  Click here to see the other posts.

 I detest football. I loathe it, and have spent every single Superbowl party in the kitchen trying to avoid talking about football. Mr. Boy has been dying to play football, even pointing out that he could play football in college, because he knows college is my weakness. I'll say yes to almost anything if it motivates Mr. Boy for college.  I have said, "No Football, I love your big beautiful brain too much."

During the summer Mr. Boy's former baseball coach called and said, "We are putting together a flag football team, come join us."  And I said, "No!"  even though it's the year of "Yes."   Here's the thing, Mr. Boy's baseball coach is persistent and wouldn't take no for an answer.  She knew Mr. Boy wanted to do it and that he would love it, and talked me into it. After all it's just flag football, it was only for 10 weeks, the coaches would be amazing, and "his brain will be safe, and you know, it's just for fun."  She said, "Just come to the parent meeting.... "   I went to the parent meeting and next thing you know I'm writing out a check and picking out his jersey number.  I caved, I said, "Yes."  but I still think she used a jedi mind trick on me.


I somehow thought Mr. Boy would hate flag football.   I didn't think Mr. Boy would be good at it and I didn't think he'd like the early morning practices.   I kind of figured, he'd do a season and decide, "Meh, it's not my sport."

Then during the first game, Mr. Boy intercepts the ball, runs the whole field and scores a game winning touchdown.  I knew at that moment, I was wrong. Mr. Boy was going to love flag football. I knew that flag football was the gateway drug to tackle football, and I just had begun a long battle of trying to keep him out of tackle football.  I declared at that moment, "This is fine, but NO TACKLE football EVER."

With every game, I felt my disdain for football starting to wane.  I learned the basics of the game and with every interception, every flag that was pulled, every touchdown by my beautiful boy I could hear a little voice in my head saying, "Oh, maybe just a little tackle football. Maybe just in high school.  Maybe some in college.  Maybe a football scholarship."

Mr. Boy, Zoey the Lion (Team Mascot) and AK

Mr. Boy was into watching every football game on TV, and the boys would break down each play.   Mr. Man confessed one night, that watching football with his son was something he had dreamed about when we were adopting Mr. Boy.   For him it was one of the joyous parts of fatherhood.   

Then there was the football coach... Coach Glenn who was kind, encouraging, commanded respect, but was calm and even tempered. He was encouraging and did wonders for Mr. Boys self esteem.  I would find myself in the middle of a fight with Mr. Boy, taking a deep breath and channeling the zen calmness of Coach Glenn.  

 I wished I'd channeled a little bit more of "Zen Coach Glenn" at this moment, but that is beside the point. 

Mr. Boy loved Flag Football this season and even though I was reluctant and even somewhat defiant in the beginning, it turned out to be something I loved too.  In the beginning I brought a stack of magazines and would hardly look up to watch the game, pretty soon, I started leaving the magazines in the car and found myself cheering on the sidelines. (and maybe yelling at a ref...just that one time)

This became an unintentional "Yes" project for me.  Instead of reminding myself that I am going to say, "Yes" to opportunities that come my way, I got talked into this one after saying no several times.  But this is exactly the reason I'm doing this project this year...  to learn and do all the things I would normally be missing out on, because "No" is the easy answer for me.  I'm so glad I said, "Yes" to Football. 

Yes meets my Bucket List: America's Cup

Part of an ongoing project called, "The Yes Project", where I resolve to say YES more to opportunities that come my way.  Click here to see the other posts.

When I was little my family had a sailboat and my brothers took sailing lessons every summer.  While other kids were enjoying afterschool sports and shopping at the mall, I was on a boat taking sailing lessons. During one sailing lesson, our boat got way off course and when we failed to return to the harbor, the Coast Guard had to come and rescue us.   I still remember my mom on the dock fretting that I could have "been adrift for years". (We were only about two miles offshore, I highly doubt I would have been adrift for years.) 

I distinctly remember watching the America's Cup Boat Races on TV with my brothers while I was growing up and have always wanted to see the races in person.  It's item number 14 on my Bucket List.   My darling nephew asked me earlier this year to please come and visit during his birthday week. I said, "Yes."   Lucky for both of us, he lives in San Francisco, home of America's Cup, and his birthday week coincided with the World Series races.  

The America's Cup Village was super kid friendly and my kids totally caught the America's Cup Fever.  Their favorite was learning to walk on the boat nets and the America's Cup iPad game.  I loved that my Uncle and Aunt came to join us for the day!

 

We opted to watch one of the fleet races from the shoreline and as I sat on the rocks, I looked around and had that sense of community..  These were my people, who came from all over to watch America's Cup.  The lady next to me also had this on her bucket list, and when one of the boats had a spectacular capsize, we all gasped, cheered, and high fived each other.    

Can I also pause and mention how much I love my brother?   My family has changed so much over the last year and really, he is my family.  There is so much of my mom in him, and when I spend time with him, I feel closer to my mom.   I give him a hard time, but he did hog all the good genes.  Just look at those dimples.

 

If it wasn't the year of the YES, I probably would have said no to my nephew.  It took some logistics to pull this trip off, in the middle of school and sports, but Wow,  what a trip!  How often do you get opportunities to love on your nephews AND cross something off your bucket list!?  Grateful for YES! 

Where does Yes take you? Part 5, YES takes me "Over The Edge"

Part of an ongoing project called, "The Yes Project", where I resolve to say YES more to opportunities that come my way.  Click here to see the other posts.

There is a small flaw with this "Yes Project" where in my friends all taunt me with "Oh say yes, you have to!" and suddenly I'm crawling through mud or hanging by a harness 32 stories off the ground. 

  

I was chatting with my friends at school and my friend mentioned she was going to repel down the side of the skyscraper the next day.   We all stopped and said, "Wait... What!?! Why?"  After she explained, my friend Chaton  said, "Sounds like a Yes Project for you... can we do it too?"  

I was familiar with the hotel and I didn't really remember it as being a tall one... maybe 6 or 8 stories. It wouldn't be so bad, I thought... 5 minutes of terror and then I could be on my merry way.  I was wrong, so very wrong.

 I was on the phone with one of the Ya Ya's when I first caught glimpse of people repelling off the 32nd floor of the Westin Bonaventure Hotel. I opened my car door and threw up, right there on Figueroa Avenue in Downtown LA. Did I mention I'm terrified of heights?  

We signed away our lives on a stack of waivers and then Chaton and I went up the penthouse to get harnessed up.  While standing around the plush suite, you aren't really thinking about what is about to take place.   Everyone is in a good mood, and they move you through it all really quickly.  Then there is that moment... where they ask you to stand on the edge to be clipped in and you realize.... You are 32 stories off the ground... what in the world am I doing?

I held on to the rope for dear life and slowly made my way down.   I would look down and see the tiny people on the ground and think, "I'm so very envious of them."  

There was comfort in having my friend, Chaton doing this with me.  Only she knows just how terrified I was. The crazy thing is there is only one way to get down, if you panic, they can't just open a window and pull you inside, you have to finish no matter what.   There is no plan B.  My whole life is all about Plan A and Plan B, this took me way out of my comfort zone in so many ways.   I thought I would lose my mind when a gust of wind sent me swinging sideways.   I just kept uttering, "You can do this, just keep going. You are going to be okay." 

 When I got to the bottom, there was a man who was there to help me out of my harness.  When my feet touched the ground, I grabbed him and hugged him as hard as I could.   My whole body was shaking with adrenaline, and when he started to pull away, I said, "Nope, not done hugging you yet."  I have no idea what his name was, but I held on to him for dear life until I felt my limbs steady enough to stand on my own. 

My daring friend who convinced us to do this, Moi, and Chaton

This was by far my most challenging "YES" project so far, but crazy rewarding.   The adrenaline buzz lasted for at least a day and a half and it is something that reminded me, "I can do anything."   This whole Yes project is all about making me step out of my comfort zone and embrace life.  So often I let my head interfere with opportunities, saying No is the easiest route in many cases, but when you say No, you just don't know what you are missing. Just say Yes!     

 A few links for you:
-The Over the Edge Boy Scouts of America Fundraiser - Join me in 2013

-Interested in doing an Over the Edge Event near you?  They do them all over the nation.

-Local Media Coverage 

-The Over the Edge LA Teaser Video

It can all wait until tomorrow...

One morning with a stack of papers on my desk and a sink full of dirty dishes, my friend Hillary and I were lamenting about the only terrible fabric store somewhat near us. We both are working on house projects and needed fabric. These are first world problems, I know.

Silly us! We live in LA, home of the garment district.  Then we wondered what would happen if we blew everything off for the morning and hit downtown. And I said, "YES! Let's find out what happens when we blow off our responsibilities." 

Once downtown, Hillary showed off her talent of finding the perfect fabric for her project only to find out it was the priciest fabric in the store.  I showed off my talent of being a really good enabler.

The dishes were still there when I got back, and the stack on my desk got addressed  in due time, but it was totally worth playing hooky from my life for a morning and indulge in a whim.  Thankful for Yes!

Where does YES take you? Part 4, YES goes Punk!

Part of an ongoing project called, "The Yes Project", where I resolve to say YES more to opportunities that come my way.  Click here to see the other posts.

I've mentioned many times that I love my brother dearly, but I am crazy bitter that he stole all of the musical genes, the dimples, and the good teeth.   I got the leftover mutant genes, for example if the doctor says there is a one in a trillion chance that we will run into a rare complication during some routine procedure, I will be the 1 in a trillion.  In spite of him hogging the good genes, I love him.

   

My brother is a musician by trade, he is amazing and unbelievably talented.  My brother makes a living doing what he loves and it is inspiring.   When I was in high school my brother was in an awesome ska band that was "Huge in Utah".   Whenever I was in town I would go to their shows, and anytime they played a California show I was right there in the front row by my brother.

In February my brother called me, "Twinkiehead! (his endearing nickname), my band is doing a reunion show in Salt Lake this summer, you have to come!"  My answer was, "YES! I am there!"  I told Mr. Man that I wanted to go to this show and his response was, "I wanna go too, let's take the whole family!"  Wait..Whoa... Really? What happened to my homebody husband?

I can not tell you how much I love watching my brother play and I wanted my children to see their Rock Star Uncle in action.  We took the kids to sound check where they got a taste of what it is their Uncle does for a job.  AK was instantly at ease with the rock star lifestyle... and when the music started she couldn't help but dance

It's crazy to me that my brother is rocker by trade, because that evil "Rock Music" was banned in our house when we were growing up.  I actually missed all of the 80's music and pop culture, because of my nutty folks. Imagine the disdain  my 80's  husband felt, when he heard me mispronounce the name of his favorite band, Depeche Mode. ( I pronounced it De-Peach Mode.)

The Lead Singer and Moi

Being "with the band" while growing up has had many perks and I'm not going to lie, I totally took advantage.   I see it as payback for all the years I had to sit squished in the back of my mom's Buick with an Upright Bass hanging out the window.  

When I am at one of my brother's shows, you can find me up in the very front, dancing my heart out in front of my brother.   One time I showed up late to a show at a small club.   I squeezed my way up front and was baffled by some crazy wench who kept elbowing me out of her way.   She kept making googly eyes at my brother... *gross* but that wasn't uncommon at his shows.   Finally, after being elbowed for the fifth time, I gave her a shove and the death stare.  Then I went back to dancing and all was right with the world.   After the show I was talking to my brother and the crazy wench approached us.  My brother put his arm around her and said, "Twinkiehead, I want you to meet my girlfriend, Crazy Wench!"  I gave her a polite handshake, a "How do you do?"  and coolly said, "I believe we already met on the dancefloor."   It didn't work out between crazy wench and my brother, because nobody... and I repeat nobody gets in my dancing space at my brother's shows.

The night of the concert after dinner with some of the Ya Ya's, I left my children behind, turned off my cell phone and slipped into some plaid.  I left my 35 year old motherly self at the door, and was back to being my high school self, except this time I was much happier.  

I danced my heart out that night and sang along with the band.  Our dear friends the Irish's from LA showed up and that was the best surprise.  I loved being able to share this part of my life with them.  We had a blast and I was reminded what saying Yes does for me.   For one night, I was Wendy... The Band's Little Sister,  not mom, and I was reminded just how much I love ska music, live bands, and especially dancing.   Even if I'm terrible at it... because of course... my brother hogged the dancing gene too.

Yes gets Down & Dirty, Where does Yes take you, Part 3

Part of an ongoing project called, "The Yes Project", where I resolve to say YES more to opportunities that come my way.  Click here to see the other posts.

My friend Hillary called me during February and said, "Hey let's do a mud run in 2 months!" When I started to balk at the idea, she said, "Just say YES!" and so I did.  I didn't quite comprehend that I would have to train during tax season.   To say I was unprepared was an understatement.   I had felt a chest cold coming on the day before and neglected to read the course map.  I had no idea that we would be running 17 kilometers of our 5k uphill.  (Maybe it was more like 2.6 kilometers uphill.)  It definitely made me reevaluate whether or not this race was a good idea somewhere around the 2 kilometer mark. 

Before I left home, I was inspired by these little love notes on my computer from Mr. Man. 

 This mud run consisted of a 5k with Military-style obstacles interspersed.  We scaled walls, army crawled through tunnels, did push ups, and crawled through mud pits.  Here we are prior to the race, optimistic, and full of life.

 

There were moments during the race where I thought, "I paid to torture myself, what was I thinking?"  But, I am also amazed at how incredible our bodies are and grateful that our bodies do these crazy things. 

 

 There is nothing in the world like crossing that finish line. 

 We came, we ran, we conquered and had the time of our life!

I am so glad that I said yes, and I will definitely say yes to doing it next year!