The 36 things project: Item #10 - Mom's Last Wish Trip

This year I set a goal of 36 things to do for my 36th year.  Some are meaningful, some are mundane, some are silly.  Follow along as I check things off my list. 

10.  Take my "Mom's Final Wish" Trip
My mom had a final request and that was for my brothers and my dad to take her grandkids to Disneyland soon after she passed.  We haven't done it yet and it makes me feel guilty.  I know that wasn't her intent, but I can see her shaking her head in heaven and saying, "Make it happen...  there will always be a reason or excuse, that right now isn't the ideal time."  My brother and I feel strongly that we need to honor her request, so this year we will set a date and go.

The back story:   My mom was nervous about traveling overseas when we were little kids, so she made a cassette tape of her words of wisdom, in case something happened.  She stumbled upon the tape 10 years ago, and thought it was still worthwhile.  She added to it then and one of the last things she said, was that her final wish was that we use the "fun money" she had in an account and go to Disneyland as a family.  She always wanted to go to Disneyland with her grandkids and see this magical place through their eyes.   After a year of trying to coordinate schedules, my brother and I decided, we needed to make it a priority.  I wish my dad and other brother could have been there and I know my mom was with us in spirit.  My mom knew what she was doing, my family needed this time together, and for me I needed this time with my brother.

My brother and I toasted my mom over a Dole Whip and when we sat singing along in the Enchanted Tiki Room, I couldn't help but think, "Mom, would have LOVED this."   It was my favorite part of the trip

Here is the crazy thing about Disneyland, we have been there over 60 times, and yet we did things on this trip we have never done.   Such as the Enchanted Tiki Room, and shooting at the shooting range. 

I loved that AK helped Mr. Man navigate and told him, "I'm a Disneyland Professional Dad, here's where we go." 

AK got to meet some more princesses on this trip and I love that she asked, "Princess Tiana, What are you cooking for dinner tonight?" 

We went on Splash Mountain, which I have only been on once, but never completed the ride.   I am technically, banned for life from this ride due to my stint in the Disneyland Jail. 

AK and I slipped away from the group to meet up with some princesses.  We have never met Ariel, she has been our elusive Princess.   (FYI, the new "Princess Pavillion" or whatever it is called, has THE WORST lighting for photographs.) 

We made a special request while standing in line to see if Ariel could come and meet us.   AK was in shock when she saw Ariel.  

AK told her that we have a beautiful saltwater pool that she can come and swim in anytime.  They parted ways after taking a "Fishy Face" photo.  

We went into the nearly vacant giftshop where two Disneyland employees doted on AK and helped her pick out the perfect souvenir.

I couldn't resist a photo in our favorite spot. 

Then we met up with the group and went to a fancy dinner.  My mom would have insisted on the fancy dinner, and I'm sure she was checking out our manners from up in heaven.   We talked about the best part of our days and then talked about my mom.   We talked about how there was nothing more important to my mom than her family, and how she wants us to spend time together.  She wants us to be friends. We toasted her memory and then ordered 2 desserts each.... because that's what mom would have wanted.

After dinner we watched the fireworks show and squeezed in a few more rides.  It was so fun to spend quality time with my sweet husband and darling kiddos.  I couldn't resist taking this selfie of us at the park.

At the end of the day my little ones zonked out, Mouse Ears and all at the hotel. Best Day Ever.   The best thing is that we woke up the next day and did it all over again.

 

Thank you mom!

The 36 Things Project: Item 19 - Run for my Mom

This year I set a goal of 36 things to do for my 36th year.  Some are meaningful, some are mundane, some are silly.  Follow along as I check things off my list. 

19.  Run for my Mom - This year I want to participate in a run in honor of my mom.   I know participating in a run won't cure cancer, but it will feel like I'm doing something in the fight to end cancer.

Cancer is a thief.   I have said it over and over again, and it's true.  I miss my mom and I just can't sit by and let Cancer win.  I know my actions are a raindrop in a vast ocean when it comes to fighting cancer, but at least I'm trying.  This year our family joined the American Cancer Society to participate on a team for "Relay for Life".   It's a 24 hour walk that raises funds for Cancer Research and Patient Services.  My family volunteered to take the "Stars Wars Lap" and walked for an hour and then passed the baton to other members of our team who took over.  We dressed in costume and it was a great thing to involve the kids in.  

We wore signs on our backs to show that we were doing this for Nana. 

Earlier in the month as a family we decorated a "Luminaria" that would be placed along the path in memory of my mom. 

 I wanted my mom's personality to shine through, she was such a vibrant person. 

I also volunteered to walk the 9-11pm time slot alone for our team and would be walking along a path lit by luminaries.  Each luminaria represents someone who has either survived or lost their life to cancer.  I knew it would be hard, but I just couldn't fathom how many luminaries there would be.  It is just too many people.... way too many people.   My heart ached for each one of these families. 

 

The first time I walked the path at night, I kept looking for my mom's Luminaria.  I wanted to shout out, "Marco" just to hear her say, "Polo" which was my families signature call.  I knew the Luminaria was just a paper bag, but in some ways it felt like it was her.   Finally, I found her at the end of my first lap.  It still shocks me how overwhelming grief can be at times.

I am glad that I was able to do this even though it was hard, even though I cried a lot, because I realized I am not alone in this journey.   Cinnamon walked with me for several laps, even though she would be walking her time slot later that evening.  People shared their stories with me and freely talked about their losses.  I met a lady who had lost her mom when she was my age and she told me her story.  She hugged me, even though she didn't know me and said, "Losing my mom was hard, but it made me a more compassionate person.  You are going to be okay, I promise."   

Those are the words I needed to hear, and the words I miss most.  I used to call my mom and say, "Oh, Mr. Boy is driving me bonkers right now, he won't listen to me."  Or  "Ugh! Who invented toddlers?"  I called my mom for reassurance and encouragement and I miss that. This walk made me remember that there is a whole host of people that surround me and give me love and encouragement.  I am not alone and I am doing okay, and this was a great way to be reminded of that.

36 Things Project: Items 13-24

 Last year I took on The Yes Project and I loved where it took me.   I'm still continuing with saying Yes more often than no.   This year I want to live with more purpose and deal with some things that have been nagging me.  Some of these are things that seem to swirl above me on those sleepless nights.  So for this year, I have come up with "36 Things"  to accomplish for my 36th year.  Some of them are big, some of these are boring, some are optimistic.  

Here are the next 12  items on my "36 Things" list. 

13. Swim everyday this summer
I'm an Aquarius, a water sign, and I have wondered if I'm really part fish.   Swimming is my passion, being in the water is my favorite place to be.   On the summer days I don't swim, I always think, "The things I did instead of swimming weren't worth it."  This Ultimate Super Mega Summer is going to be pool-centric, bring on the pruney fingers.

14. Update the Master Bedroom
 This is the last room in the house that still has the vanilla walls from our Pre-Juan Days. The silly thing is that the master bedroom is my second favorite room in the house, so it should be a priority.  The furniture is all there, it just needs some paint and new bedding.  (In case you don't know, my kitchen is my very favorite room.)

A rough sketch of what should happen to my oh so blah living room

 15.  Hang some pictures
I have a reoccurring nightmare that Nate Berkus shows up at my house and screams in horror at the lack of personal details in my house.   I can hear him saying, "Where are the photos?  The treasures?  Where is your personality? Your house is a yawn-fest." I need to add some pizazz and pep to my house, something that says, "Hey, you are a fun person!" This year, I will hang up pictures and make my house look like we live here.

16.  Finish 10 chapters of my book
There is a story that needs to be shared and I have outlined and plotted it all out.  It's something my family has encouraged me to do and I have stopped and started it a 100 times.   I need to stop putting the dishes first and write, it's better for my mind and spirit.


17.  Submit book for publishing
I need to get up the courage to submit my writing for publishing and embrace the rejection letters as they come.  (Maybe I could frame them and hang them an accomplish #15 at the same time.) 

18.  Write a note to one of my High School Teachers who influenced me
High School wasn't my favorite for lots of reasons and I felt like a square peg in a round hole.   There were a handful of teachers who really were influential.  Mr. Phreaner, taught me to love Shakespeare and I wish I wo.uld have written him a note to let him know how much I loved his enthusiasm for good books before he passed away.  He taught me to write "in my own voice."  I still vividly remember him clutching Romeo and Juliet and having to steady himself because he was so moved by the words of Shakespeare.

19.  Run for my Mom
This year I want to participate in a run in honor of my mom.   I know participating in a run won't cure cancer, but it will feel like I'm doing something in the fight to end cancer. 

20.  Find a kid friendly service project
I loved participating in The Hundred Dresses Project with my kids. It was a great project to work on with the kids and get them involved.   This year I want to find a project I can do with my kids to help them become more compassionate people.  

21.  Host a Glam Dinner Party
On my list of things I've wanted to do was to host a grown up dinner party, hopefully 20's themed.   I keep thinking it would be perfect to do around the release of the upcoming Great Gatsby Movie. 

22.  Visit Santa Barbara
This is home for me, and every summer we make an annual trek.   Except last summer I was busy with my dad's big move across country.  We just didn't make it, and since I have been feeling a bit orphaned in the last year, I think some time at the place I consider "home" will do some good.

23.  Read 12 books
I love to read, but I swear once I sit down to read, I fall right to sleep.  It took me 3 months to get through my last book, the pace was embarrassing.   I have a tall stack of books I want to read this year, and I'm hoping to get through at least 12.  

24.  Bring back the Friday Night Date Night
Mr. Man and I were so good about doing a Friday night date regularly before we moved, but during the remodel, the dates were replaced with dates perusing the aisles of Home Depot hand in hand.   Now, it's more of an issue that I'm too lazy to plan for the sitter and it's just easier to stay home.  That is the very reason I started The Yes Project, becuase no is the easy answer.  

36 things for my 36th year

Last year I took on The Yes Project and I loved where it took me.   I'm still continuing with saying Yes more often than no.   This year I want to live with more purpose and deal with some things that have been nagging me.  Some of these are things that seem to swirl above me on those sleepless nights.  So for this year, I have come up with "36 Things"  to accomplish for my 36th year.  Some of them are big, some of these are boring, some are optimistic.  Here are the first 12 items on my "36 Things" list.

1. Set a Date for a Big Family Vacation
I feel the presence of this big ticking clock behind me when I look into my children's eyes.  Time is fleeting and I know that Mr. Boy will be in college before I know it.   I know that if we don't set a date, make a plan, it won't happen.  Mr. Man travels for business, not for pleasure.  For pleasure he likes to sit at the Chalet in his pajama pants and hang out with the family.   I feel like we are really good at spending quality time with the kids, but I want them to know the world is a lot bigger than our yard.  We are going to pick a destination, a date and plan a big trip for our family, including how we are going to save for it.  

2.  Run to the top of our hill
Last year during the mudrun, I was crazy unprepared for the elevation change, and as a result I was embarrassed by my inability to run up a hill.  I live on a hill! I have the perfect training course right in my backyard, so I'm setting out to run to the top without stopping. 

3. Use my ridiculous stash of gift cards I have a desk drawer full of gift cards.   I don't spend them because in my head they are "to be used for something special".  Guess what?  Right Now is a special time, and these are meant to be used.  When my kids receive a gift card, they can't wait to use it, so we set a date and time to take them to use it.  Why shouldn't I do the same thing with my gift cards?

4.  Learn to make cheese
Every year I take on a new cooking goal and it's been a fun tradition.  I have always wanted to learn how to make cheese, so this year is my year.   Specifically, Mozzarella, so I have signed up for a class, ordered my supplies and am going to dive into it. 

5.  Lose 36 pounds 
This is hard to admit, but there are 36 pounds separating me from my healthy self.   Grief has sent me to my very favorite friend for comfort named the Carbohydrate.  I know that I am happier when I am fitter and in better shape.   I have more energy and I'm really tired of feeling like this weight is holding me back from living my best life. Being thin isn't the ultimate goal, it's about feeling healthy.   I recognize, item number 4 might contradict this goal, but all things in moderation... right?

6.  Hike Weekly
One thing I have found to be just as therapeutic as writing, is hiking.   I have hiked a lot since the New Year and I love to be out enjoying nature.   I never regret the time I spend in the hills behind my house and it does wonders for my brain. 

7.  Learn to tie a Tie
This is a skill I can't believe I never learned growing up with two brothers.  As I watch Mr. Man try to teach our son, I can't help but think, "Why shouldn't I be learning this too?"

8.  Go out with my girlfriends more
I have leaned a lot on my friends in the last year, especially the Ya Ya's.   I have so many great friends locally, but when it comes time to spending time with them in the evenings, I tend to say, "No thanks."  I find myself curled on the couch with my computer in my lap because it's the easier option. I have never ever gone out with my girlfriends for a night out and not returned better than I left.   That is the magical thing about girlfriends, and why I deny myself of that gift,  is a crime.  

9.  Clean out my closet
This is tied into #5, I have a closet full of clothes, in an assortment of sizes.   They are all crammed together with the hopes of someday coming out again.  I think it's time to purge and start things fresh.  I have tried to clean it out and always said, "Well maybe one day.... " This is the year I decided that someday is now.

10.  Take my "Mom's Final Wish" Trip
My mom, *sigh* I miss her so much.  As I have struggled over the last few weeks navigating some challenges, I just think, "Dammit, I could really use my Mom's advice or encouragement."  I still feel way to young to navigate life without my mom, but I know many people feel this way no matter when they lose their mom. I took her encouragement for granted.
My mom had a final request and that was for my brothers and my dad to take her grandkids to Disneyland soon after she passed.  We haven't done it yet and it makes me feel guilty.  I know that wasn't her intent, but I can see her shaking her head in heaven and saying, "Make it happen...  there will always be a reason or excuse, that right now isn't the ideal time."  My brother and I feel strongly that we need to honor her request, so this year we will set a date and go.   

11. & 12.   Paint the Hall and Paint Mr. Boys Room
Boring, but these rooms have been on my to do list since we moved in.  The hallway has had paint swatch samples on the wall for over a year, and I feel guilty every time I walk down the hallway.   It's time to get it done so I can unpack that last box of family pictures for the hallway.   As for Mr. Boy, I have had the paint cans in the garage for a year now, it's time to use it before he decides it's time to change the theme for his room.