The Power of Friendships

To my darling children,

I know it is hard to comprehend why mom is excited to go away on a little trip without you guys at this age and that's okay, flattering really.   Moms need to recharge too, wives too, well actually all people do, and it's hard for me to recharge in my own domain.   Even when I'm "relaxing on the couch" I'm aware that there is a part of the crown molding that needs to be touched up, and goodness, when was the last time I dusted tv?

AK, I wish, pray, and hope that you will be blessed with great woman friends like I have been.  I learned by example, from my mom, who always had some dear sweet ladies who knew her, in some cases, better than my father did.  I am grateful for these woman who still check in with me every once in a while, even if talking to them is painful.   I would do the same for one of my friends daughters.  I am grateful for the power of girlfriends, who laugh and cry right along with me.  I'm grateful for the secrets they keep, for the strength they give me, and for the unconditional love.  I love them.  I love their kids. I love that our kids think they are all cousins, and that we are all related somehow.

I love that they know me so well, they have seen me struggle and overcome obstacles, and cheered me on.  When I confess, "I have NO idea what I am doing as a mother... what if I screw my kids up!?"  They are the ones who say, "You're doing a fine job, and we all end up screwing them up, because nobody is perfect." 
 I am grateful for a husband, who sends me off on girls weekends knowing I will return better than I left.  I return more patient, more centered, and more confident, and Mr. Boy, I hope you do the same for your darling wife.  Love, Mom

I am grateful for the Ya Ya's who I spent the weekend with, but I am grateful for the lady friends I have made everywhere I have lived.  As I drove home I thought about how lucky I am to have the Ya Ya's and a whole bunch of great friends.

Would you believe that  I returned home to this?   My house full of non YaYa's but friends just the same,  for our annual Super Bowl Party! 

Ya Ya Wisdom

One of the perks about my "Yes Trip" to Utah was getting to hang with some of the Ya Ya's. The Ya Ya's and I met ages ago at Book Club where we read "Divine Secrets of the Ya Ya Sisterhood".  We have a bond that is deep, unbreakable, and unique.  We have had babies together, shared triumphs and devastation.   We have held vigils in hospitals, prayed for good news, and buoyed each other up in the darkest of times.  I love these girls, and I love that Mr. Man gets my relationship with them.   When I have struggled he has said, "Ask the YaYa's, they'll know... "  

Bob, Moi, Booboo

One of the legendary YaYa moments is with Booboo.  Several years ago, I accidentally backed my car into Mr. Man's "Beloved" car.  More like slammed my car into Mr. Man's.  Even worse Mr. Man ran out hearing the noise only to see my car and his car had become conjoined into one lump of metal.   I had to punch the gas to pry the cars apart, and peeled out of driveway.  I will never forget the look on Mr. Man's face, it is one of the few times I have ever seen him mad.   I picked up my cell phone and called, Booboo.

Moi:   Booboo, I um... I backed into Mr. Man's car.  

Booboo:  Wait, What? His beloved blue car?  The one he says goodnight to before bed?  

Moi: YES!  Oh my goodness, what am I going to do?   I think I'm just going to keep driving and move to Texas and become a blonde.  That's the only way.... he is gonna kill me!

Booboo:  Wait, let's calm down and just think for a moment.   Okay, are you sure his car wasn't already all smashed up?  I mean, it could have already been like that and you didn't really hit it at all!

Moi:  I guess that's possible, but I had to slam on the gas to unhook them. 

Booboo:  Hmmm, I think I've always pictured you as more of a redhead than a blonde. 

Ah, bless the Ya Ya who always assume your innocence in all situations, that is a good friend.  I totally get what those Sex and the City gals meant when they said, 

"Maybe our girlfriends are our soulmates and boys are just people to have fun with."

 

As I sank down on the couches at the Ya Ya's house, I felt instantly at ease.  We talked, we laughed, and we watched the Petit Ya Ya's play.   One night at Bob's house, I couldn't help but notice the clock was striking 10 and her house had no signs of slowing down.  In fact a meal was being fired up in the kitchen for a late night snack.  I was baffled, because even as the self proclaimed Queen of the Ultimate Mega Super Summer, everyone under 5 feet tall is in bed by 9pm during the summer.   Bob imparted her Ya Ya wisdom, that these were the best times during the summer for spending time as a family.   Dad was home from work, the blazing sun had set, and the lazy evenings were sacred family time. 

The whole way home I kept wondering, "Am I doing Summer wrong?  What if I'm missing the best part?"   Last week, I decided to try the YaYa way and let bedtime slip by.  My children who bickered from sun up to sun down, got along and constructed a Lego city together.   TOGETHER!  They never do things together unless bribed or forced.    

 

We talked while they built their city, and I cherished this time with my kids.   There wasn't a ticking clock on the time we were spending together, it was just going with the flow, something I'm not very good at.   It was nearly midnight when the yawns became more frequent than words, and we tucked the little ones in bed. Unfortunately, the next day AK was in tears the entire day due to her late bedtime, so maybe we need to adjust this a bit.   But I don't want to forget the lesson I learned of turning my back to the ticking clock, the schedules, the routines every once in a while to make time for some cherished memories. 

This is a lesson I needed to learn before we jump into fall, with it's crazy sports schedule, and the demands of school.  I needed to remember this time is fleeting and it is the family, not the schedule that trumps everything.

My other favorite things: Ya Ya's

I just got back from spending a few days at the beach with some of my favorite people.  My girlfriends, aka "The Ya Ya's."  We met 13 years ago and bonded during book club (first book: Divine Secrets of the Ya Ya Sisterhood), and became fast friends.  These ladies know me better than myself, and they are my biggest cheerleaders.  We all lived within a few blocks of each other, and had the best time together.  We have had babies together, we have laughed and cried and comforted each other.  There is a bond between these ladies unlike anything else and when we are together it feels like we haven't been apart.  We all live apart now, and when we get together it is always a good time.  We hardly sleep, because we can't stand wasting our time together snoozing.  I can't speak for all of them, but when times are challenging, Mr. Man encourages me to consult the Ya Ya's, because they are wise and comforting.

On Friday Night, we hit Joe's Crab Shack for some Buckets of Crab.  Our waitress approached us at the end of our meal, and said, "Oh! I hear we are celebrating a birthday!!"  I smile and look around at my friends who are beaming at me and wonder, "Oh who has a birthday next?  Wait... no one does.. uh oh.. oh no!"  My birthday is coming up and the Ya Ya's knew this place dressed you up and made you dance and Yee Haw your way around the restaurant on your birthday.  It was a prime opportunity to laugh it up.    

We made good memories, lounged around, and laughed so much our sides ached.  I left the weekend better than when I arrived, and that's exactly how a girls weekend should be. 

Why is it that when you are going on away for a few days, it is so much work to get things ready?  Is this a mom thing?   It was totally worth it, but the phenomenon baffles me.   

And we have a winner for the final Faux-Prah giveaway!  

Not a pic of our winner, but an honest to goodness still from a real Oprah's Favorite Things Giveaway Audience.

Amy from Almost Normal  who is pulling the same trick I did almost two years ago and moving right after Christmas.   Oh man, I feel for her!  Amy email me at Qwendykay at Yahoo.com and I will send your stuff out to you so that you can unpack it, admire it, and then pack it up into a box again!

Ya Ya Afternoon

Best thing about living here in sunny southern California is the vacationing visitors that pass through here. We love having our friends come to visit. I'm not kidding when I say all of you are welcome at the Chateau. My pal Bob came to visit and brought along this delicious wee one. She was just so lovable and I want to rub that round head for luck, it is perfect. I bet she'll grow up and look just like her mom, lucky girl.... her mom looks like a real life Barbie. Bob's kids love Star Wars, so it was light saber fights galore. And Stef's kids are in touch with their sci fi side, which means they aren't afraid to pick up a lightsaber and show that the powers of the force reside within them. We pulled out the waterslide.... which meant that the three of us... got to hang out and chat while we threw snacks at the kids. I love the Ya Ya's (Booboo & Nettie were absent and were dearly dearly dealy missed) There is something about being with people that know you, and you can be 100% open with that is just as refreshing as a vacation. I know I could tell them anything, and they would love me just the same. Also, I love the Petit Ya Ya's, I love hearing about their successes and talking to them. I love spoiling them when their mom isn't looking. I genuinely want to hang out with the kids and talk to them. Bottom line: whatever time I spend with any or all of them... it's always too brief. If I win the lotto, I'm building a YaYa compound with a handful of big houses, lots of hired help, and lightsabers for everyone.

Viva La Ya Ya

I love these ladies. They know my faults, my secrets, my personality and they love me anyway. They give me strength, they give great advice, and when you need a shoulder or someone to listen they are all there. It was our biannual weekend away, and I laughed heartily and loved every minute of it. Bob, Moi, Booboo (and Nettie sneaking her head in the back)

We watched helplessly as the wildfires started to burn, and sent good thoughts to all those affected. *see my afterthought at the bottom*

The smoke eventually drifted down to the beach, which made me edgey. I couldn't help but fret over Mr. Boys little lungs, even though he was in very capable hands. Tami, Nettie, Bob, Moi, & BooBoo

Stef had family obligations, so she was in and out. So here is a pic of her and I together from last summer. I adore her, and thankful she hasn't moved with the rest of the Ya Ya's. She will always give it to me straight and I love that. Mr. Boy asked me if I went to a Super Hero meeting with my friends.... because as he pointed out "You came back ENERGIZED."

*Afterthought* I started this post right after the weekend, and got sidetracked. I'm glad I'm waited, because last night I was out to dinner with the kids and we watched 8 fire trucks roll by the window. The kids were ecstatic and the engines were from all over California. I'm guessing they were all just released from their duties fighting the fires. The fireman all looked tired and worn, but still had the energy to wave to my children who were ecstatic to see them. People on the street were stopping and applauding them. I am so grateful for the firefighters who risk their lives, and work until the job is done. I know there were firefighters who worked for days on the fires with very little sleep. I also know, that they don't exactly make a fortune firefighting. Many of these guys have second jobs. I am grateful for the people who risk so much to protect us. So thank you fireman everywhere!!

It feels like Christmas Eve...

Tommorrow, I will be hanging with Nettie, Steph, Booboo, and Bob (aka The Ya Ya's) at the beach. We met 10 years ago, give or take a month, and have done girls weekends for at least 8 of those years. Shhhhhh... They don't know yet, but I'm not letting Bob, Booboo, Steph and Nettie go home.... I'm totally going to steal them and hold them hostage until we can agree to some kind of terms where they move back here and we live in one big happy compound.

Hello again, my friend...

My favorite Barbie-look-a-like friend, Bob is in town. I LOVE her, and she's known me since the dawn of time. She is a good friend and brought along her three boys to play with Mr. Boy on his new waterslide.... which has been a huge hit! I took a bunch of pictures of the kids playing, but they pretty much all look like this. And this... I could post a hundred more of those shots, so fun, but I'll spare you. Mr. Boy is in heaven with three "almost brothers" to play with. Then, because Bob is awesome she also brought along her little girl, who is AK's age. Once these guys warmed up to each other, they were best pals.
And Bob is such a good friend, she even indulged me in a little Rock Band. Everyone got into it, which is what I love about Rock Band, it's great for a group. I totally think we should hit the road with our band. Check me out as I rock the vocals on a fake mic. I think my previous rock band experience* really shows.
Bob Rocks! I miss having her close by. It was such a fun day, and if you all would send me a million dollars then I could buy Bob a house next door and she could move back here. Thanks in advance... and yes paypal is fine!

*In my wild college days I was in an almost fabulous band.... I had a stage name, wore skimpy outfits, and played the tambourine.